Lent: Day Eighteen–I’m No Judas! I’m So Much Worse...

When I was still in college, I had a dream that I was sent back into time to the time of Jesus. In the dream, my job was to make sure that Jesus was crucified. The angel, or whomever it was who sent me on my mission in the dream, told me that the devil knows that if Jesus dies on the cross, it’s over. So the devil was trying to make sure the crucifixion never happened. My job, was to make sure that Jesus ended up on the cross. I don’t remember the dream now�"it was more than twenty years ago�"I just remember the premise and the conclusion. It ended with me leaning over Jesus as one of the men who nailed him to the cross. I placed the nail on his hand, raised the hammer, and couldn’t do it. Jesus told me it was okay and that I had to do it. And I did. The hammer lowered, and I awakened.

There are a couple of things of mentioning about this dream. One, with dreams like that, is there any wonder I became a priest? I mean, what normal person has dreams like that? Two, the often stated premise that the devil is trying to kill Jesus because the devil doesn’t know he’ll lose as soon as Jesus dies on the cross is turned upside down. The devil knows it, so anyone in the story trying to prevent it (like Pilate) is working for him. That’s an interesting take if I may congratulate my own subconscious. Three, if my dream is right, Jesus doesn’t look like any of the artwork�"in the dream he was thin, older, and bald or balding.

I know it was just a dream, but at the same time, I have always felt that there was something right about that dream. To me it has a ring of truth. For one thing, it always bugs me when with one breath, preachers say that the devil knows Scripture and how to misuse it, and then they preach in the next breath that the devil is somehow ignorant of his fate. If he knows Scripture, he knows his end, and why his end has come�"or is coming. Either the devil is a complete idiot, or maybe there’s more to it than we are willing to admit or understand. If the devil were a complete idiot, then how did the devil get so much influence, unless we are all just bigger complete idiots?

Easter Sunday is the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. There is no Church, no faith, no Christianity without this event. A lot of people just want to focus on the Risen Christ of Easter, and choose to forget why he needed to be risen in the first place. There is no Easter Sunday apart from Good Friday; and there is no Good Friday without the betrayal of Judas. So without Judas, there is no atoning death on the cross, there is no expiation of sin, there is no substitutionary sacrifice on my, or anyone else’s, behalf.

And every year we rediscover Judas’ betrayal�"his one betrayal�"and we condemn him once more. He had to have something going for him. He must have had some good qualities. Jesus chose him as one of the Twelve. He was in the same circle of believers as Peter, James, John, Andrew, Matthew, and so on. I’m not one of the Twelve. I doubt that I would have been chosen to be. Judas was. So let’s give him some credit where credit is due.

Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, and that always sounds so devastating and yet the price seems so cheap. I mean, I’m sure I tell myself that I wouldn’t betray Jesus for anything less than a million dollars, but Judas did it for thirty pieces of silver�"that was like three month’s wages. So he made out okay. If the average income is around $30,000, then he was paid the equivalent of $5,000 - $7,500 for one little kiss and one act of betrayal. He probably made closer to minimum wage, because like most people, he was probably a “day laborer” which meant he got paid a standard fee for a day which didn’t cover much�"bought some bread and paid a few expenses, so figure he made about $3,000 - $4,000. That’s still not bad, and actually, pretty darn good for the day laborer crowd.

So as bad as the betrayal was, it wasn’t cheap. And we don’t know Judas’ motives. The Bible tries to fill in the blanks�"Judas is possessed by Satan; Judas was a thief; Judas was greedy, and so on. The incident that leads to the betrayal, at least in Matthew and Mark, is the woman who breaks open the expensive jar of perfume and pours it over Jesus. It says that the disciples were indignant at the waste�"the perfume could have been sold and the money given to the poor. When Jesus rebukes them, Judas goes off to the priests with an offer to betray him.

But what was the motive? Was it greed? Was it hurt pride? Was it disillusionment? Was it as simple as he was possessed? Newer theories have Judas betraying Jesus, not because he lost faith in him, but because he had too much, and was trying to force Jesus’ hand at revealing his identity. So was the motive an impatient faith?

I don’t know, and frankly, I don’t care. Judas was a man, just like me. He had all the foibles that I have. He walked with Christ and yet betrayed him�"something I have no problem seeing myself do if most of my past relationships are examined honestly and carefully. And he has been pronounced the worst sinner of all time for one act of betrayal.

And here’s my point: every sin is a betrayal�"EVERY SIN! Yes, Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver, and as I mentioned, that always sounds so bad whenever I rediscover it each year during Passion Week�"that is until I realized that I have sold Jesus out many times for so much less than Judas ever received for his one betrayal.

A colleague asked me about someone she knows who wants to preach a sermon on Judas on Easter. Is that an appropriate thing to do? Well if we really believe what we say about Easter is true, why would it be inappropriate?

St. Paul says somewhere (at least as I translate it) Jesus Christ died for our sins, and rose for our very lives. Jesus died for sin�"my sin, my betrayal, my many betrayals, so didn’t he die for Judas’ one act of betrayal? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to come up with some new doctrine or redeem Judas, but at the same time, why wouldn’t he be redeemed by Christ like everyone else? Peter betrayed Jesus three times by denying he knew him. He got to be redeemed. He got to tend the sheep and remain an Apostle. Three times he betrayed Jesus�"forgiven, and we call him St. Peter.

And how many times have I betrayed Jesus? A thousand? A million? God may not even know because the whole thing about being forgiven is that the sin is gone. That act of rebellion is gone. It has been blotted out. God doesn’t forgive us but still keep track of our sins. They’re gone. Boom! Zap! So if I, with my who knows how many betrayals can hope to stand before God as a redeemed sinner, forgiven, spotless, clean, then why can’t Judas?

Why not Judas? Because St. Paul says that Jesus died for our sins, our betrayals�" even Judas' betrayal�"and he rose again for our very lives�"even Judas' life. So if I want to claim redemption for myself, then I have to be willing to extend it to Judas. Of course, it’s God’s call, and God knows the heart and God’s judgments are just, but whether Judas stands condemned by God, that’s none of my business, because in truth, I have been so much worse than Judas. I can judge him as a betrayer and as a thief and whatever else, but when I judge him, I’m playing God, and when I play God, I am guilty of idolatry�"putting myself in the place of God.

So maybe we should all preach about Judas on Easter. If I really believe that sins are forgiven, if I really believe that Jesus died for sins and was raised for my very life, then why do I refuse to forgive Judas? Even if God doesn’t forgive Judas, shouldn’t I? Am I any better? If I can stand before God forgiven for my many betrayals, then why can't Judas for his one betrayal. And Jesus tells me to forgive, and whatever standard I use to judge others will be used to judge me. So forgiveness isn’t mercy, it’s in my best interest.

When it is Easter morning for me, it’s Easter morning for Judas too! It is Easter morning for all those I want to hold accountable, whom I refuse to forgive, or don’t want to forgive, those whom I consider untouchable, unclean, unworthy. I have to remember that I have been Judas many times in my life, and God has forgiven me. I have betrayed Jesus for nothing in return. I’ve done it because I felt like it, or because I didn’t want to do what I knew was right, or because I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. Yet, I get to celebrate Easter.

I am certainly no better than Judas. But Jesus died for our sins and was raised for our very lives. If I want that to apply to me, I have to be willing to apply that to everybody, even Judas, even Judas on a day when I am trying to forget him, or at least, trying to forget how much I am like him.