Lent Day Sixteen

The last step to humility, according to St. Benedict is to be humble in everything action.

The twelfth degree of humility is, when a monk is not only humble of heart, but always lets it appear also, in his whole exterior to all that see him; namely, at the Work of God, in the garden, on a journey, in the field, or wherever he may be, sitting, walking, or standing, let him always have his head bowed down, his eyes fixed on the ground, ever holding himself guilty of his sins, thinking that he is already standing before the dread judgment seat of God, and always saying to himself in his heart what the publican in the Gospel said, with his eyes fixed on the ground: "Lord, I am a sinner and not worthy to lift up mine eyes to heaven" (Lk 18:13); and again with the Prophet: "I am bowed down and humbled exceedingly" (Ps 37[38]:7-9; Ps 118[119]:107).

Again, I’m not really crazy about how he expresses it, but I get the gist. I cannot keep my humility within, but it must be expressed. So everything I do, has to express that humility. When I travel down the road in my car, I have to do so with humility�"not speed or cut people off, or cuss at those driving to slow, or calling those who drive too fast idiots. When talking, I have to do so with humility�"quiet, brief, calm tone, no arguing, no expression of impatience. Even walking has to be done with humility.

The advice he offers is to keep in mind God’s coming Judgment. If I remember that I am a sinner, then I won’t be so eager to accuse others of their sins. Often people expose the sins of others so that they don’t have to look at their own. But I am not only to look at my own, I’ve already been told I have to be open about them and confess them. So I know of my own unworthiness�"I confess it often. And knowing my unworthiness allows me to experience humility.

The Lord says that I will be judged by the same standards I use to judge others. Therefore, the way to get through the Judgment is by not judging anyone else. If I don’t just anyone else, there is no standard to be used to judge me; therefore, I will not be judged. But if I do judge others, the same standard I use against them will be used against me. So if I judge harshly, I will be judged harshly. So it turns out that God is not a cruel judge�"I am! And it’s my own standards--my own cruel judgment--that will judge me.

The prayer we often recite says "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" but it says in the Greek "...as we have forgiven those who trespass against us." I can only ask God for forgiveness after I have already forgiven others. I will not forgive, I will not be forgiven--the same standard I use will be used for or against me.

St. Paul offers the counsel of remind ourselves: “The Lord Jesus Christ came to save sinners, of which I am the worst.” So I keep in mind my sins, not to beat myself up, not to wallow in guilt or shame, but to remind myself of what I am capable of, which will keep me humble. I am a sinner, and I stand before God redeemed and sinless, it’s only because what God has done for me through Jesus Christ; and if that is the way it is for me, that is the way it is for everyone else; therefore, I have no room or right to judge, condemn, or comment on anyone else.

And my actions have been sinful as well, so all that I have said applies to what I do and how I do it.

If I keep in mind the fear of the Lord�"that reverent reminder that I am not God and have to stop playing God (and judging is playing God); if I no longer trust or love my own will; if I submit to obedience as God forming me through others; if I accept what is unchangeable; if I am open about my faults; if I can find contentment in even those things that others find contemptible, demeaning, or lowly; if I can keep in mind my all of my sins and image myself standing before God; then I have no other choice to repeat the words of the tax-collector in the parable, who stood far off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’” (Lk. 18:13). If I do all this, how can I be anything but humble?

So in all that I do, I have to ask myself “How can my actions express humility?”