Torn Apart

The Disappointment and Restlessness at feeling that Someone Slip by.

Ah, the fateful day when I pulled my eyes off the beauty to once again secretly stare at her when I saw her with another man. The half-smile on my face hardened and grew icy, as though etched in stone. A scream rose from my throat, only to be suppressed by my mouth. Sub-consciously, I grazed my hand over the middle of my cheek, where she had touched me ages ago, and stared into my eyes, though unable to understand the longing in them. I felt as though a bullet pierced through my heart, a dark hole expanding where my heart was present, swallowing me, and forcing me down, when our eyes met. There was immense satisfaction in those bright green eyes and joy radiating from the smile I so longed to stare at all day. A tendril of longing snaked its way from my downcast eyes only to be snatched away… No, the time was not right. What had he, in front of the ocean in me?
What had he that I didn’t?
What God would do such a thing?
Red blotches snatched my vision as I tore away, feeling restless and lonely. Love and disappointment and fear and stimulus… two inevitable and intertwined tendrils emerging from different sources. I forced the gaping darkness inwards, I tried to conquer my despair, and mask it with a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. I was burning inwards, how long, before it showed itself? How long before I was forced to release the tear I had held captive in me for so long? How long, before I will be forced to confess my feelings and ruin other lives? How long?
Yet here I am today, alone and miserable, though I have learned to hide my pain, to mask my senses, and to supress the agony that erupts ever now and then, rising and causing me to shiver. I curse myself for not standing up and talking to you, I curse myself for being so shy… I had always imagined us together, but who said all stories have a happy ending?

Reviews

[CoraZanini]

It is a non stop circle in love-triangle.I love your honesty and the way you're simple and realistic. But do not doubt yourself ever,We all have our flaws right?:)

[Dean Penn]

Reminds me of my childhood days! Great write :-)

[Rogue]

Very honest write on the frustration of shyness and hope that went unfulfilled.
You had really good imagery throughout this as well.

Thank you for sharing something so personal.

[4$H]

Sharing it reduces the pain :P
Thank you soo much for the review :)

[Eve]

Some beautiful imagery integrated within a very honest and compelling story

[4$H]

Thank you SOO much :,)

[Eve]

Anytime. :) With words like that it is a pleasure to read them

[4$H]

I could say the same about yours :P

[Eve]

You are too kind. :)

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

everyman is the same..
as far as the body is concerned..
but each spirit bears an unique tag...much advanced for the machines that encapsulate the logistics of biometry..
every woman changed her mind like the tides and the seasons...but after a while...they are predictable and fit in a pattern..
watch out for the patter:0

[4$H]

Thank you for enlightening me... I will surely keep in mind :)

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

mind is on the loose when Hendrix plays his blues

[Temerity]

Being someone who is shy and distant myself, I understand the feeling. I saw that you mentioned that this is based on experience, and that felt transparent in your writing - the story felt natural and real, and it wasn't hard to discern its sense of honesty. While I think that perhaps there is a hint of melodrama, I don't think it's much of a negative in this case, either; if anything, it helps it feel honest.

In any case, I hope to read more of your work in the future! Keep writing, and best wishes.

[4$H]

Similar minds aren't we? :D
Loved the review, thank you sooo much :)

[Zoe Marie Ross]

I believe everyone that suffers shyness, misses out. I am shy and pretty much, absent of any confidence, which limits me in a lot of areas. Very well written, love the poetry within the story.

[4$H]

Everyone experiences this at least once in their lives, so have I... Thanks for the review!

[Zoe Marie Ross]

You're welcome :)

[4$H]

:)

[Just Kim]

That is so true, Love the description.

[4$H]

Thank youuuu :)
*Based on a true story*

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. This was so good. I liked your use of poetic metaphors in a lot of places along with the reality of your experience... Bravo...:)

[4$H]

Thanks buddy :D
Its based on experience :P

[Sami Khalil]

I like that ...Good ...:)

[Breathetheair]

I think shyness causes a lot of what ifs in the world. I may have fallen prey to this same thing once maybe twice. Glad you shared!!!

[4$H]

Haven't we all :D
Thanks a lot :)