Nature's Wrath

An attempt to portray the forthcoming consequences of fiddling with Nature

The darkness provided resistance to the potent rays of the omnipresent sunshine. A blast of cool relief washed over me as neon emerald brightness embraced my eyes, transporting me in the very throbbing heart of Nature. The caressing rustle of leaves, the beckoning trees, and the relentless gurgle of the stream provided a sanctuary to my chaotic and turbulent thoughts and an unfamiliar sense of security. The combination of the emerald glow, dampened due to the fog and the touch of cold gently forced me down onto the soft grass and the curtain of my eyes to slowly come down and give rest to my constant source of vision.
           ***
Aggressive red beams penetrated the curtain of my eyes, as though eager to transfer the heat and relieve itself. Jerking back, I shook my head to rid it of the screaming demons, to rid it of the demons that cut through my head to escape. Opening my eyes, I stared at what remained of the perfect creation. Flitting my eyes over the scenario, I realised why Man always had to die, why man always had an end, how Nature had created its own greatest enemy and given him access to the tools to its own destruction. An insane laugh escaped me, as the futility of the situation hit me, and tears glazed my eyes, dampening the scene of total destruction for moments. Staring at the reddening horizon, I got up and sub-consciously walked away from the fire and then halted.  Smiling slightly, I doubled back and walked into the embracing arms of the fire, letting it cover me in a sheet of flame. I expected to be embraced by Nature, yet all I felt was rejection and bubbling anger. A final scream escaped from me before I was torn apart, finished in an attempt to revive my very enemy. Nature retaliated when Man crossed the boundaries and quenched the ego in his head.
Our creator is coming to avenge it, and there is nothing we can do about it. 

Author's Note

Please read it once :)
My (one of the) first attempts at writing and if possible, comment :)
They will be welcome.

Reviews

[Terohime]

Oh wow, This was beautifully written. The imagery was outstanding. I felt like i was right there with the main character. Well done.

[Dean Penn]

So true! Man lets his ego interfere with every action. The consequences of ignorance are disastrous.

[MoriartyMesa]

If your wanted an expert thought, opinion or advice, all I can say is that I see where you want to go. I see the car is gassed up, we got half a pack of smokes, its night and were wearing sunglasses. However, I feel something was forced.


Just my feeling. Much like playin BlackJack and seeing someone with a ten showing and a card down.

[4$H]

Umm, again, I don't get you.

[Different Wings]

Good! I like the description, but maybe it would help to balance it out with some down-to-earth lines, like describing location? Just a thought. I also see the message you're trying to send but don't feel very swayed by it. The piece might fit really well into a larger piece. Overall encapsulating read!

[4$H]

Thank you so much for your advice. I will incorporate these changes :)

[theking]

It's listed as a story, however it appears to me to be a long poem. Way too much imagery and figurative language to be a story. However, looking at it from a poetry aspect, it is absolutely beautiful. I found it to be very interesting, and the imagery I experienced was fantastic. Also, a lot of great emotion imbedded into the writing that made it that much more special. Great job for one of your first attempts!

Keep up the good work!

[4$H]

Thank you for the review :)
Actually I have been trying really hard to write poems but it really isn't my cup of tea.., still, thank you soooo much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

"Nature retaliated when Man crossed the boundaries and quenched the ego in his head."
A very good poem. I believe Nature will survive man abuse. Man could be gone? His own choice. We need to protect the water, earth and the sky. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[4$H]

Your review was very inspiring :,)
Thank you do much for taking your time to review this.

[Sami Khalil]

"A blast of cool relief washed over me as neon emerald brightness embraced my eyes, transporting me in the very throbbing heart of Nature. The caressing rustle of leaves, the beckoning trees, and the relentless gurgle of the stream provided a sanctuary to my chaotic and turbulent thoughts "
I like the power of your descriptiveness and your imagery along with the overall...:)

[4$H]

Thank you so much :,)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Hatter at Heart]

A nice, vivid read. Made me think of The Happening... even though that movie wasn't all that great, the truth of it is something that should be well known. It really helps to be reminded every once in awhile that there's only one Earth, especially in such a beautiful way as this. Thank you for the excellent short!

[4$H]

No no, thank you for the Excellent review :,)
My pleasure :D

[Just Kim]

Wow such a deep powerful read, enjoyed,
kept me in suspense.

[4$H]

Thank you, I an so glad you enjoyed it :)

[A.R. Elvira]

This was a powerful piece, i am facinated by the relationship between man and nature and the cyclic destruction they cause each other. Where are you planning to take this? Was it a stand alone first try at writing orndo you plan to take it further? For a first time it is an extrmely good job. Little pieces like this will often lead to larger stories battling the same ideas but with a more straight foward 'mainstream' plot line which i think you should seriously comsider taking this. Could use some further editing just to make events a bit clearer, but i get the impression that the idea was for it to be a bit more of a stream of thoughts rather than a typical orientation, complication, conclusion type of story. My only advice would really be to just keep writing, anything and everything, you have potential!

[4$H]

Really hard to believe someone would take their time to actually read the whole thing and give expert advice on this :,)
Thank you SO much :)
I will :D

[A.R. Elvira]

no problem, glad I helped!

[4$H]

:)