Belonging By Christopher Ross Livingstone

Belonging By Christopher Ross Livingstone 

 

 

Belonging is a longing 

Salvation on a sanctuary

Upon the day of your passing

Something profoundly changed

Home felt forever no more

on the cusp of a turning chapter

 

Bonding of the cord 

birth taught me how heart strings bind us souls

Mother and Son 

Belonging connections binding

Way beyond life itself

Until you passed to your peaceful grace

Belonging I began to question

 

Questions in grief raised more to answer

A heart stunned upon on open wound

In an instant maternal world

Natural questioning in my belonging

Spaces and connections

Where is home?

Mum,

you gave us life

Nurtured us in infancy to adulthood

Instantly in echoes

My heart went into protectiveness,

Preserved as yours stopped living

 

Memories reminiscing in pools of untouched emotions

Strings began plucking at my unmanned heart

Those heart beats of loving times gone by

All felt this in the transitions in seasonal changes

Your lived experience missed and yearned between these

Our shared spaces without you is somewhere I’ve never been

My sensitivity in feelings serving me well

Seeking a sanctuary upon this voyage of loss

Although knowing you’re never lost

Mother nature and her energies take me to feel your love

 

I know that belonging 

often it isn't promised

In times of change 

Comes a test 

endurance and resilience are called upon

I once felt a sense of belonging

Connected to place

It all felt it was ripped away

Plunged into numbness’

Calls into question

My sense of belonging 

A landlord without sensitivity increased rents without any compassion and hesitation

Affordability came into question 

A space that I once home became no more 

Dwelling in homelessness taught a sacred heart

Many changes within these chapters

Stories to tell during the transitional changes

Like the great lost and found

Loyalties and friendships 

Lessons learned

Forgiveness and healing bring me here

Resting myself in realisation

Knowing thyself in home within

Feeling you my maternal is also never lost