Where I belong? By Christopher Ross Livingstone

Where I belong By Christopher Ross Livingstone

 

I am rewrinting this poem 

Where I belong 

For too long left me with many questions 

Rather than answers 

 

Over time

Childhood was about moving from pillar to post

No time to settle

Experiences were turbulent and chaotic 

Arguments to divorce 

Relationships come and go

Mum and Dad in two separate houses 

I began to question

Where do i belong?

 

Experiences of growth

From childhood to the age of discovery 

Sensing those changes of the body and puberty 

Discovering in world wasn't made easy

Remebering knowing that I didn't belong  

The straight normative narrative wasn't me

This story isn't mine 

I was questioning 

Where do I belong? 

Time passed

Age and experience marked me with grey of the silver fox

Experiences of expression 

Healing of silence 

Acceptance of my queer heart 

Led me to knowing 

Where I am

True in heart 

Is where I belong 

Times shift 

Loved ones come to pass

Mum with love in heart

Hand held tight

Love so unconditional 

Only a mother knows

I let you go

As you crossed onover

 Another jouney to a path not yet travelled 

October is time to shed and let go

This time round marks one year on

I feel your loss as I walk on

discovering where I belong

This time round,

 I come to reflect on where that is

Coming home to rest and reflect

Colours will burst in natures fall

 Bright oranges and golden greens

Those walks and conversations echoes on in the wind

This time I stand in reflection 

Where  do I belong? 

With Mum and Dad no longer here 

I'll soon seek the answers from within 

As I go forth with love in my heart and that is where I will be