A man

A man 

I was born

given life 

from a mothers heart and love

and into life 

I grew from a boy 

to man 

Born from a boy 

I learned from both a man a

and a woman 

Proud to call Mum and Dad

Time taught them both 

they were best apart 

Before I became a man 

born and raised in the middle 

of two brothers

We fought as brothers do

but deep in the heart of it

we loved one another

But for me

I'd seen the perceptions 

and societies expectations 

of what it means to be 'A man'

A man isn't cast and set in stone

a man is strong of will but in heart

I see the best of both 

From boyhood to teen

I was weighed down hard 

as the weight of expectation 

burdened and supressed 

the natural flow of emotions

 were tied up 

and I was left 

with no way to express

I was growing into my own

But fear fuelled my inside 

I was alight 

with stress and shame 

Scared to utter I was gay

Because I felt that was no way to a man 

Every man has sensations 

urges which I felt were unnatural

Because of the force from the norms  

knowing I wasn't the norm 

I was attracted to a form 

a form that was sculpted 

in the shape of man

I felt I could not breathe

struggled at heart for so long

to live in man's world 

as a gay man 

Openly I embraced 

a journey of acceptance 

from out of the closet 

I came 

away from fear 

and embraced into life with love 

I then questioned what it means to be a man

because it varies from man to man

Growing up in to man's world 

gave to me fear and trepidation

the fear to express 

was real

being in touch with emotions was seen to be weak 

and weak in man's world 

was wrong

to live in a man's world 

you had to be strong 

I lived life in contradiction

because a homosexual stereotype

of the time 

was one where gay men where open to emotions 

and knew how to articulate 

the sensations of an inner 

felt heart 

In life

carving my way to be a man

I was described as being, 

you're too this and that

I was too sensitive 

or too much 

especially after I broke away 

from the ways of the man

ways to live in a man's world 

is not the way of the heart

you need to be strong 

show no weakness 

And always with heart

I went back to a mother's love 

a love like no other

a new definition

on what it means to be a man

was born

through my bonds and connections with women 

And I saw from my Dad's mistakes

of how not to be 

I embraced the good 

Maturity has given me 

a chance to grow 

and let go

to see

to feel with ease,

and tall with my emotions 

I stand 

and shedding away 

the old ways to be the man

Labels no longer define

we're not all the same

authenticity is real

The true connection

is love and gratitude 

being the compass 

guiding me on 

as a man

today