He who helped me

This poem has nothing to do with anything sexual but after reading over it it may seem that way but I just wanted to let people know that it doesn't. It's about my first boyfriend who helped me become more like myself in this new place, I was really stuck

Deep in black, cold dark, tears streaming.... falling... melting

Memories, memories of friends... never to see again

Alone, closed, unknown… so alone

Day night day night tears all the same memories forever to remain

Slow to adjust to this, such change

Only one to name friend she of acceptance… difference

Still, the doors stay the same

Hate of the shut door, push no budge…

Lost, breaking… fading… stuck behind shut doors

Salvation in imagination, hiding behind art

Stress work stress school all the same until he came

Eyes… straight at me… all they see… only me

Saved in stopped time, a moment… moment of his eyes

Doors shake but stay shut… but…

Speak… he… so close to me, he so into me

He… bold, confident… strong…

Knocking behind shut doors, rattling, shaking…

Black changing to grey, yet the doors stay

Lips kiss… soft touch… on stone

Stone of the door… crumble… crack… collapse

He, he who saved me, saved me from tears

Tears of hate, of sadness, of loss

He… so into me… he who had me

He… let go, let go of me

Change... he who changed me

Now… no shut doors remain

Open, wide open I am no longer the same

Change for the best, left for the best

Deep in blue, so warm, love overflowing… consuming… welcoming