Brush Burns

Confined in a psych ward...sanity allowed to break for the day...spinning wheel spinning 'round words of naught...time to go to bed.

No matter what you told me

You gotta grab and hold me

Until the shakes stop the tracking

Of the train.

Diving down the lighted chute

And with my mind so resolute

I worry about the brush burns in

My brain.

 

Disregard the verbal jitters I’ve been through these past 12 days,

They were part of the illusion that my mind has sprung on me.

While I cried and (sometimes) giggled ‘bout the wreck that I can be

I’ve come out the other side so resurrected, so many different ways.

And now that I have found my clarity I’m making noise

Just to quell the tired whispers in the shadows of my mind.

To imply that I have failed in any way will cause a quick rewind,

To the dreaded piece of block of mind, replacing all my mental toys.

 

No matter what I’ve learned today

I have to find another way

To erase the brush burns raging

In my head.

I will learn that when tomorrow comes

I’ll ignore the pounding of the drums

And soak up all the trains of thought

That split their rails and bled.

 

Dan © 2015

 

Music: “Beds are Burning,” by Midnight Oil

Author's Note

Reviews

[AaronFreitas]

I love the tone of this write... the imagery and how perfectly executed each line was written. Brush Burns is an awesome title to this write also! "While I cried and (sometimes) giggled ‘bout the wreck that I can be
I’ve come out the other side so resurrected, so many different ways." I love those lines as they uniquely define a person at the breaking point. When it gets so bad that we both cry and laugh at who we are and where we are... great lines. Amazing piece my friend :)

[dan]

Thanks so much, Aaron. A hospital psych ward can be a lonely place, just a crooked face in the crowd. So much time to figure things out for one's self; oh, and plus lotta meds!
Thanks so much for your review. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

Sitting in a colorless room, with colorless sheets and colorless clothes. That is enough to make a mind go mad. I felt like this poem gave me a run down of the everyday life within a ward. Just being alone with no one that will listen to you is a kind of hell. Good work :)

[dan]

Actually most places let you wear your own clothes, but the rest of your read is pretty much correct. A kind of hell? You're right, and from that setting a patient is supposed to be receiving help? A self-fulfilling prophecy is more like it.
Thank you for the very intuitive review. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

Dan, thank you for enlightening me about the clothes, I had no idea! Most welcome!

[dan]

They afford the patient a chance to feel more human, less confined. Thanks again for the great review. take care...dan

[θεά]

"While I cried and (sometimes) giggled ‘bout the wreck that I can be
I’ve come out the other side so resurrected, so many different ways.
And now that I have found my clarity I’m making noise
Just to quell the tired whispers in the shadows of my mind".

Goose-flesh inducing stuff, Dan. Very heady concoction of neuroses and emotions of a man/woman labelled as a 'train-wreck'. The way the lines have flown, the way the narrator expresses himself/herself is spell-binding. Indeed one of the most gripping poems I have read.

How you manage to capture an aura you desire to create in every poem, is something I often wonder when I read your works. Brilliant, as yet, again.

Thanks for sharing,

Best,
M.

[dan]

I tried to describe being inpatient in a psych ward, based on past experience. Just a rough sketch. Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated. take care...dan

[θεά ]

Incredible then, more respect to you.

[dan]

Mallika, Thank you again. take care...dan

[Rafy T.Nym]

First a beautiful flow of rhyming words, then the rhyming turns into complicated flow and at last the beautiful flow returns to finish the trail of thought; the poem contains a good combination of rhyming style.

' Just to quell the tired whispers in the shadows of my mind'- this line gave me an eerie feeling, may be for the irony or truth it holds.

The imagery is used in a very innovative way. I have a lot to learn from wonderful writers, no doubt.

[dan]

Thank you, Rafy. I don't think I'm in the "wonderful" stratosphere, but I learn from everyone on WC that I am fortunate enough to read.
To tell you the truth, when I wrote that line of which you speak, it kind of gave me an eerie feeling too...yeah, I guess that makes me a little weird that way. I'm heading over to review one of yours. Thank you so much!! take care...dan

[.]

Wow! Just a brilliant write, Dan. Cloaked in darkness, yet with a vision of light at the end of the tunnel.

Just loved the use of a train analogy and the trainwreck imagery of a poets mind.

Extremely well done!

I'm not partial to Midnight Oil, but I am Australian! Take care, mate.

[dan]

Thank you for your analytical approach to find meaning through the words. I'm glad you like the piece and that it made you think of possibilities. BTW, I'm not partial to Midnight Oil either but I do love the song and how well it fit with my composition. take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

My clarity becomes discombobulated at times. I think it stems from my muse derailing itself without notice!

You are always good for the soul, Dan.

[dan]

Even when I'm writing darkness? Thank you so much for the compliment, I am honored. And yes, a train derailing's gonna leave a mark! Thanks again Kelly. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"how can we sleep when the beds are burning?"

yes, there is a certain amount of insanity to being a poet...we have all those words locked in our heads trying to get out---beating on the walls of our brains, with their fists.

eventually---they escape...or we do.

love this write.

j.

[dan]

This got really personal the more I wrote, I actually tried writing a different draft then thought, "Hey, this ain't bad."
I appreciate your kind words about the piece, I'm glad for your input. take care...dan

[andrew mitchell]

Nice write Dan, its amazing how the mind talks and sometimes repetitively to the state of continual annoyance! Great imagery and I'm a big fan of Midnight Oil

[dan]

When the mind is allowed to wander it is wise for the mind to avoid booby traps and land mines. In some strains of mental duress the mines project massive sinkholes. A typical day at the Enchanted Kingdom. Thank you for your kind words, Andrew; I'm heading to your page to review in kind. take care...dan

[JayceeC]

And now I'm feeling bad that I have not been keeping up with you as much as I should. Life is rushed and hectic, but I've been thinking of you and Dee quite a bit lately.
Any thing to stop the demon thoughts works for me and if it's is poetry, that's all the better. I'm glad you were feeling up to this piece today because it contains all the parts and pieces of voice, imagery, and metaphor that you use so well.

[dan]

Wow, my head no longer fits in my many ball caps! When both sides of my mind go into an extended arm-wrestling hoedown a medical pit stop is needed to tighten the screws. Oh yeah...the MEDS! Danny's little helpers, lined up in those curious cups.
Thanks so much for your visit and review. I'm headed over to your page for payback. take care...dan

[JayceeC]

No need to, but I think I sent you some requests like you asked. Read when you can or as you want. You're always welcome ttyl dig around on my page.

[dan]

Well I'm certainly digging that! (Sorry, some old hippie lingo leaked through the cracks in the floor) ...dan

[JayceeC]

Oh my this auto correct is becoming tiresome. It changes the words add they post....dig it all you want..That's totally groovy. Lol

[dan]

Cool, man!

[Coyote Poetry]

Something we must conquer. Hard to do, but we must.
"No matter what I’ve learned today
I have to find another way
To erase the brush burns raging
In my head."
Thoughts can haunt us and burn our hope. Hard to erase and when we do. Life is okay. Thank you Dan for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[dan]

Thank you John. With certain disorders those thoughts can be immune to the eraser so we just have to watch them burn and wither in our mind's camp fire to dry up a bit. Thanks so much for your visit and review. I'll be over to review some of yours. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful write and you are welcome.