Her Love for Me

Why does love sometimes start strong only to decay like a corpse? How does one cope, if at all?

Her love for me, once taut and strong…

Now shriveled and disheveled

And torn asunder, under grief…

Made memories get rearranged,

Dropped inside that grave abyss,

Into death, or madness…

Prearranged.

 

Her love for me was filled with promise,

Long in hopes for special reason.

The rigid seasons carved the caverns

Into which the bits of love

Fell like rain (not sleet),

Replete with sad remembering.

 

Her love for me, eclipsed by fear,

Each tear encased in crimson glass,

Surpassed the brim of all the peaks

To fall into such disrepair,

Forgotten and depraved.

 

Her love for me is gone today,

My love for her enslaved.

 

 

Music: “Hurt,” by Johnny Cash

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[.]

"Her love for me, eclipsed by fear....."
This line sums up the whole poem for me, Dan.
How many times does the one we love all of a sudden become enshrouded in fear and flees for the hills, leaving us to pick up the broken remnants of our abandoned hearts?
The leave us broken, empty yet despite all the pain they have caused us, crazily enough, we still love the and long for them.
As always, a very well written poem, set alight by the flames of lost love.
Great work, Dan. Take care.

[dan]

Doodley, Thank you so much. I love your interpretation of the piece, very perceptive and insightful. It is always an honor to receive one of your reviews. take care and happy easter...dan

[Amber Lily]

"Each tear encased in crimson glass"

I love lines like this because they bring a physical form to complex emotions. Sad how many relationships end this way, but we all find a way to go on somehow. The most important thing is to stay strong! Great work :)

[dan]

I like your read on this piece. I actually wrote about an elderly couple's disintegrating relationship due to Alzheimer's. "Her love for me is gone..." refers to her not remembering him OR their love, his love forever enslaved, or imprisoned. I do like your take on it though. Thank you. take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

"Her love for me is gone today,
My love for her enslaved."
That is so melancholic. It makes me think of a husband who becomes a caretaker to his wife who is losing all her faculties, especially her memory. She doesn't love him because she doesn't remember him. And he must continue to love her because he needs to take care of her. It's a no-win situation, but such things do happen as much as disheartening they may be.

[dan]

Nadia, Some of my previous reviews have come really close to nailing down the exact meaning, but yours is the one that takes the prize! My father-in-law is in a hospice; we were visiting him and met a lady who had cared for her husband for 11 years until she could not physically bear the responsibility any longer. And she was devastated by it, thought that she had failed. We hope to talk to her again but haven't seen her since. So sad. Thank you for your astute review. take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Gosh, that is such a sad story. Also, thank you for sharing it. It shed even more light on your poem. I now see it also from the perspective of the sick--for whom the love is gone because they are gone. I feel the pain for both parties. It's not easy to be the sick nor is it easy to be the caretaker.

[dan]

I love receiving your feedback, it's always on the mark. Thank you again, Nadia; I have to start reviewing more of your stuff 'cause I'm a big fan of yours. Hey, I have an idea....please send me read requests??! I'll get to them ASAP. Thanks so much!! take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Hahaha...aww thank you, you are a darling! I will send you RRs. I unfortunately deactivated mine LOL, but I will be checking back often to see your writings.

[dan]

It's a deal. dan

[Melinda McQueen]

This sentiment is known well, and you have captured the the hurt. Lovely write filled with emotion.

[dan]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time for the read/review. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Beautiful words expressing the level of pain and even confusion. The question of "where did the love go." I believe that when you experience something like that there is no getting over it. That love doesn't disappear or just fade away... that part of you dies inside you and lingers. When something consumes you and creates your happiness, when you find true love and it shrivels away you can't really replace it. As humans we cope and find the strength to move forward, yet that pain always stays. It's almost like a person that gets shot with a bullet that can't be removed... it's a constant reminder of what we once had. The song is an amazing rendition by Johnny Cash. To take a Nine Inch Nails song and just totally blow it away with more pain in the voice was awesome. I have this song on my Spotify playlist and it fit perfect with your words. :)

[dan]

Aaron, Thank you for your detailed review chock full of feeling, the painstaking inventory of the damage that loss can render. Thank you for your impression of feelings in this area, a great review. take care...dan

[John]

The poem delivers on the same emotional level as the song by Johnny Cash. Of course, he's got the added advantage of the melody as well as the powerful lyrics to make us feel his pain and despair. Very well done.

[dan]

Thank you so much John. I like to find music to accompany my writes but seldom find a piece that dovetails so succinctly with my writing, MY lyrics. I appreciate the review and am returning the favor by reviewing one of yours. take care...dan

[JayceeC]

Dan, This piece has caught my fancy. I like the bits of internal rhyme and how the play out on the tounge and the ear. I like your descriptions but "grave abyss" is one of my favorites here. I like how the word grave can be taken as either a none or adjective. The abyss of the grave (never ending darkness) or just contemplating the void of nothingness. Both are great descriptions and work well as a combined image.

I agree with John on the ending. Strong and simple and oh so powerful.

This is a great piece of poetry Dan!

[dan]

You AND John both deciphered the message the piece tried to impart, and I always love to receive feedback that comes so close to echoing my intent. I love how your reviews dig tunnels into the verse, digging for the roots. Thank you so much for your interpretation and expression of your truth. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and powerful words my friend.
"Her love for me is gone today,
My love for her enslaved."
Love strong once, love gone now. Does leave permanent scars. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[dan]

Thank you for the kind words, I'm very glad you enjoyed my scribbling on a whim. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

intense write---had a similar situation....many reasons why ....alcoholism, near madness, the fear of commitment, rejection...you name it...this poem transcends that similar feeling to me...

i relate.

j.

[dan]

I tried to convey thoughts that were quasi-universal. The feeling this did leave you with and were kind enough to review is very much appreciated. I'm so glad you relate. take care...dan

[...]

Oh Dan...I love it. From the song choice through each deeply emotive paragraph...and that last line...sigh.
So cool that you choose Eddie to add to the haunt of this beautiful portrait of loss. Either him or Johnny cash or even Stevie Nix, All would have fit, but, this song with Eddie singing it...perfect! Regret is a MFer. Do we ever swallow it? I don't think we're suppose to. Some things teach us a lot. To appreciate is to grow. I'm pretty sure you got a lot more room in there now. Did I say I love this?!!! hahaha Gorgeous release Dan :)

[dan]

In the write the image I try to sell it that the part that hurts is not that he was fucked over but more grief is bestowed because 'he' he can't RID the pain ever. And the song? I did have Johnny Cash's version but then the copywrite was revoked, removed from YouTube. I think Vedder's version came very close. Glad you liked the song and verse compo platter! 8^) take care...dan

[...]

ya I got that. Why I said the part about it expanding us and that I'm sure you have a lot more room in there :)

[dan]

there's always room for jello