seasons' dark promenade

comparing our own mortality to that of the year's dying songs... by dan AND dee

summer’s arrogant bluster bleeds into

reluctant submission,

falling down steps into

autumn’s soft illusion;

red, orange and yellow leaves,

like drying paint on a rusting canvas…

covering the aging year’s markings like

store-bought hair color masking

winter’s approaching gray…

drifting into pock-marked snow caves

shouting “bury the dying year…”

here in the dark

where death finds

refuge.

 

dan and dee © 2015

Music: "Shatter Me," by Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale

Author's Note

Reviews

[...]

I love it, Dan! Fall colors being like hair coloring to winter grey...oh yeah...love it!

[dan]

Thank you lynn. Most of the comments I am getting mention the hair color analogy as being good. My wife and I were talking and she wanted me to get her hair coloring stuff when I went to Walmart. An idea born. I'm glad you liked it and thanks for visiting for a review. take care...dan

[JayceeC]

This is absolutely a fave! I love the personification of the seasons and the descriptions are vivid but so right on. The hair color is a fave line. Miss Clarol should be jealous of such vivid hues. I see that you gave Dee some of the credit. If she helped, you should definitely pick her brain more often.
I really have no constructive about this! I feel like I'm going on and on, but this is such a fresh description and fits well with my fallen tresses. Life easily follows the seasons and you highlight the later parts of our life well. We do fight our winters, wanting summers return, only to find ourselves feeling the firm breezes of fall.

[dan]

This was inspired...hell, almost WRITTEN by a conversation Dee and I had about all the changes we've gone through due to age. Seasons mark time too, right? Like age does? It kind of flowed naturally after that. Thank you for your great review, it means a lot. take care...dan

[TM]

I loved your word choices. I thought they flowed really well with this peice and the visuals were soooo good! I loved the dried paint on rusted canvas image. I could see that immediately! Great job!

[dan]

Thank you so much. This piece was inspired by a conversation between myself and my wife, talking about changes one goes through during the aging process. Which is why I gave her a writing credit at the end of the piece. Thanks so much for your intuitive review! take care...dan

[zaisham9393]

My favorite lines:

autumn’s soft illusion;
red, orange and yellow leaves,
like drying paint on a rusting canvas…
covering the aging year’s markings like
store-bought hair color masking
winter’s approaching gray…


this is amazing dearest dan. thanks for sharing :))!

[dan]

Zaisha, I forget where you live but I don't know if you experience the changing of colors in the leaves before they fall off trees, as we do here in northeast US; it is such a beautiful panorama to view. But this piece was inspired by a conversation between myself and my wife Dee (which is why I gave her a writing credit) about US aging and the changes we are going through. I am glad you liked it and appreciate your kind words. take care...dan

[zaisham9393]

lol yes you r right think it may not be relate able and I may sound dumb, but this poem inspired me and somehow forced me to think for the unexpected turns and changes life brings, like from childhood to youth and so on, just like autumn leaves or different seasons and that's how it is... change can be all you want, but sometimes it takes time to be used to it ....but what happens will happen and nothing can stop it ...we have to just go with the flow ...

[dan]

Being able to adapt to change is one of life's most necessary skills. Like you said, nothing can stop it. I'm glad my piece inspired you, thank you for that compliment. take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

"covering the aging year’s markings like
store-bought hair color masking
winter’s approaching gray…"

Wow, now that's quite a description! Winter approaching gray...very, very clever! Hi Dee!

[dan]

Kelly, Thanks so much for the delightful compliment! I enjoyed writing this, especially because Dee came up with the idea. Do I have to pay her for that? 'Cause she wants paid. And I think she's in a union. Oh well....thanks again! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

excellent analogy...as some of us find ourselves approaching our own autumn....

that first snow can come anytime.

[dan]

That was my intent, and you always seem to interpret my intentions very well. This started as a conversation with my wife about how old we are feeling (so I had to give her a writing credit). Thanks so much for the read/review. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful description for the season of the Fall. I liked how you made the death of the green seem less painful. Thank you Dan for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[dan]

Thank you so much, your interpretation is pretty much exactly what I was trying to achieve with my write. I appreciate your read and review, John. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Dan.