seasons' dark promenade

comparing our own mortality to that of the year's dying songs... by dan AND dee

summer’s arrogant bluster bleeds into

reluctant submission,

falling down steps into

autumn’s soft illusion;

red, orange and yellow leaves,

like drying paint on a rusting canvas…

covering the aging year’s markings like

store-bought hair color masking

winter’s approaching gray…

drifting into pock-marked snow caves

shouting “bury the dying year…”

here in the dark

where death finds

refuge.

 

dan and dee © 2015

Music: "Shatter Me," by Lindsey Stirling feat. Lzzy Hale

Author's Note

Reviews

[Insight "MH"]

This has a nice flow to it, the word choice is perfect and the imagery is sublime.

Insight.

[dan]

Thank you for your complimentary review, glad you liked it! take care...dan

[MelissaAndres]

Very nice! I like how everything seemed to flow so well together. I loved 'store-bought hair color'! And, although the song is not normally my style of music I really liked it too! Great job!

[dan]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am very sorry, though, because I cannot review your work also. I have a disability that prevents me from focusing or concentrating on longer writes (chapters, long stories and books). So thanks so much for your review. take care...dan

[MelissaAndres]

I do have many poems out there and not just short stories or novels but that is perfectly fine. I understand. Just wanted to review some of yours and tell you that you have done a good job.

[dan]

If you send me read requests containing your poems I will be very happy to read/review them. Please do that! ALL read requests get reviewed, promise! take care...dan

[MelissaAndres]

Thank you, Dan!

[rach]

The imagery in this piece is breathtaking,
The images of the seasons cycled through my mind while reading this so fast I went back and read it again, and then again.
Beautiful work.

[dan]

This was inspired by a conversation my wife and I had about the effects of aging. The idea then expanded to parallel the change of seasons, it dovetailed so nicely together. Thank you for visiting and doing a read/review. I'm headed to your page now to review one of yours. take care...dan

[HippieSoulPunx]

Beautiful. The imagery is so vivid, and the changing of the seasons into a cold, grey winter comparing with our own aging is so creative. You painted the seasons perfectly in my mind, I really enjoyed reading this.

[dan]

You're pretty adept at getting to the meanings of my writes, you should go back and review ALL of them! 8^) This was inspired by a conversation I had with my wife, so I felt I had to give her a writing credit at the end. Thanks again for an intuitive review. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

This is an amazing poem with powerful descriptions of the changing season. Who ever said summer just fades into fall... you turned that change into an epic display of thoughts. I loved it... loved your descriptions my friend. :)

[dan]

Thank you Aaron. I tried to equate the change of seasons with the human aging process. Got the idea from a conversation with my wife; so I thought I'd give her a writing credit. I appreciate your feedback. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome tag team on this one... it's really an interesting concept and it's always fun to know where the inspiration comes from.

[dan]

Aaron, Please send me read requests. It's really the only way I can keep up with all the stuff my friends post. Please - I like your writing and would like to read it more often. take care...dan

[AaronFreitas]

Sounds good buddy... I haven't written anything in a while haha... I started getting messages asking if I left and why I haven't been writing. Hopefully will write soon... not really writers block just been really busy :) Once I do I will buddy I always appreciate your reviews.

[B]

Dan i find so much art in your work
a season closing in to bring about cover for all
we cover our hair's white age with pretty and deep colors
to face another year of love, crying, happiness, trouble, peace
Another set of new albums to be filled
by us
to write a new piece like this one in picture, sound and live through others and let others live through us

Cool stuff

[dan]

Nisreen, Thank you so much for the lovely review; coming from you this kind of acknowledgement of my work is truly special. take care...dan

[B]

Love you Dan so much
:)

[dan]

Same here...Dan

[modtoddinc]

Change, transition, life and death: very powerful themes that you have captured well in this poem Dan. I related to the overall piece as well as some of the individual stanzas; which resonate even more powerfully. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing your art.

-peace, Todd

[dan]

Todd, Yes I was really feeling it when I wrote this, all the effects of changes happening for many reason, but it can be compared to the feeling of aging, getting old. It came from a conversation with my wife, then the seasons came up and I had to write immediately. I'm so happy you like it and am glad you sound a little better. take care...dan

[Alfred Kukitz]

Your transitions of the seasons are remarkable blessings of the fruitful interior mind. WoW!

Regards,
Al

[dan]

Al, Your review is very flattering, I am honored. Your review also reminds me I haven't been by to review any of your work lately. Please send read reviews! I'm heading over to your page now. take care...dan

[Alfred Kukitz]

I never send read reviews. It's not my style.

[Tks]

I love the refreshing view you bring to change, Dan..a blend of Nature.."like drying paint on Nature's canvas"...yet a touch of reality from "store-bought hair color masking"...how summer yields via "reluctant submission" to autumn..the inevitable nature of change was gorgeously encapsulated within your words. And of course, the music put me just in the right mood :) thank you for sharing, my dear friend!
"Where death finds refuge..".
I am speechless and spellbound.

[dan]

Tks, Wow I'm really flattered by your great review. I'm so glad you enjoyed my ideas about change, nature and aging. I slept in late today and just got to my computer now. Thank you for making my day begin in brightness and light. take care...dan

[-Scribe in Style-]

Very well written. The analogy of colour really brings the meaning and season together.
A

[dan]

Thank you, Arwa, for your welcome feedback and interpretation of the piece. take care...dan