Burnt Dirt

Debating climate change? If so I feel sorry for you....

Summer grassland, screams are garbled

Hoarsely clearing dusted pipes

Frantic bees scratch 2D hives in

sizzling patches…scorched soil dirges.

 

Farmland withers, bleeding ca$h;

Treetops flame like matchstick towers…

Farmer Dells clutch ground like cinders,

Trapped by crops in molten memory.

 

Barns once filled with work machines

Now stand in kindling,

Dirt on fire.

 

dan © 2015

 

Music: “Burnin’ for You,” by Blue Oyster Cult

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Michael Wright]

Good words to bring this complex problem to a simple means. Good job!

[dan]

Thank you Michael. take care...dan

[Maja]

I could pretty much smell the fire from all the way over here. And the first line, especially the "screams are garbled" part actually turned it into a nightmare. There's a huge difference between regular, terrified screaming and garbled screaming. Great job!!

[dan]

You know I never though that myself but by saying that to me, it makes me realize myself. I am glad you enjoyed your read/review and I thank you much. take care...dan

[Maja]

You're welcome! :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup... We ruined the environment... I believe that once humanity will be exterminated, and we can thank ourselves for that. Destroying nature, taking way more than we need, doing unnecessary damage.

[dan]

I see that you understand my point. Thanks for the read/review. Young people have every right to feel angry about the condition WE left the world in when we were done with it. I know I'M angry that I played some part in it. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I agree with you, but i'd like to add that being angry is not enough... We must do something about it.

[dan]

I totally agree. Now how do we get action? Who would we trust in getting this idea off the ground?read moreI totally agree. Now how do we get action? Who would we trust in getting this idea off the ground?
The younger now have resources to get the ball rolling. If I can help out please let me know. thank you...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I'm a member in a local "Save the environment" organization.

[dan]

I wish your organization of effecting some type of change a lot of luck, and I give you a lot of credit for doing it yourself. Thank you...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup... I hope we'll be able to do somethin... Thanks :)

[mattavelli]

We've been having more brushfires in south Florida. The country could use a canal system. We could have opened some gates in Texas and sent water west.

[dan]

The photo I put with the write WAS a photo of a Florida brushfire (from Bing images) and your canal Idea is one that should have been considered when the planning was done (or LACK OF it). Now it cannot be done and WILL not be considered. I'm afraid that the world is devouring itself to end the abuse. That's what I think of how mine and earlier generations have left a scorched earth in our wake. Thanks for the informative review. take care...

[sereenaoutloud]

Yes we completely take for granted Mother Earth and all need to start waking up!!
Brilliant write Dan! :)

[dan]

I appreciate it and wonder what I can do? take care...dan

[Ms. Gruye]

Hi, I really like the undertone here - the barren and the once bountiful. This piece progresses nicely to the ending phrase of dirt on fire, which is a really a lovely way to close this poem. I also thought the line with the frantic bees scratching hives in sizzling patches was especially visual and well written.

If I were to offer one piece of constructive feedback (which you may choose to ignore or whatever) I would suggest adding another layer of meaning or messaging. This poems starts with the same outlook or perspective as it ends with, which is not entirely a bad thing, but it seems as though you have the talent to take your reader on a ride where they start reading with one thought and you walk them to a new outlook.
Thanks for posting and Viva la

[dan]

Ms. Gruye, I actually thought of adding nuance and suggestion to flesh it out but I consider this too urgent to be coy about it, I wanted my piece to say starkly was is needed and the need to do it abruptly. I figured making it read coldly for effect. I do appreciate any type of criticism and yours was actually, like I told you, already considered. Thank you for dropping in and for the kind review. take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

The desolation of California wildfires could very well be depicted by this extraordinary poem, Dan. You've hit home, once again!

[dan]

This piece was actually meant to DEPICT southern California, the foliage, lives and scorched earth crops and the lives of farmers left with nothing. I really feel bad for a lot of Californians for having their lives uprooted from them. I hoped to strike a chord in such a way. Thank you Kelly! take care...dan

[jeannemarie coulter]

i weep for all that we have lost to the careless greed of man in his constant reaching for things...so much has been lost...

[dan]

jeannemarie, I used to be afraid for my son's and grandchildren's generations. It has now gotten so bad I am afraid for ours. Environmental terrorism is an apropos name, is it not? Thank you for your review. take care...dan

[...]

As the planet purges...money is an illusion we buy into. Wealth is in the heart of the survivor. LOVE your depth, Dan :) Always a pleasure to read

[dan]

As it is always MY pleasure to hear from you. The fact is that I'm more afraid of our fracturing environment than terrorism. What about future generations...what about OURS? The terrorists should sit back and relax while the whole world, including their nests, destroys itself (with fossil fuels giant helping hand). Thanks so much for visiting! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow what a sad day when the barns all turn to kindling...i love country, farms, cows....Vermont...this is a bleak forecast, but a really well presented poem.

thank you for these words, Dan...they are needed and should be heeded.

j.

[dan]

Thank you, jacob. I don't normally lean toward politicalized pieces, but I'm afraid for our future generations, if not ours. Forget terrorism, the world (and US) is destroying itself. take care...dan