I'm Trying

desperately wishing for those sounds to stop

I try to make my world believe

That tragedy is normalcy,

I’ve tried to make my inside voices

Sing in five-part harmony;

I’ve tried so hard to move the middle,

Placing it on top,

I’ve tried ignoring all of the noise,

I’ve tried to make it stop.

 

I place awnings over sandboxes to

Keep our children dry,

I try to keep their worlds safe as

They’re leaping toward the sky;

I try to spin my fears around

And harbor them within,

I’m trying to improve my mind,

I’m trying to begin.

 

dan © 2015

 

Music: “Hey You,” by Pink Floyd

Author's Note

Reviews

[Indra Neil]

A deep and profound write! Beautifully composed! Well done!

[dan]

Thank you very much for your kind words. I look forward to reading more of your art. take care...dan

[Indra Neil]

You are most welcome! Thank you!

[Olivia]

God, i love the collab between your writing and pink floyd.
I think I get it, well at least an interpretation
Your writing keeps getting better and better

[dan]

Olivia, This is written in contemplation of the effects of my mental health disorders. I don't see a therapist due to cost so I gain some measure of cathartic relief through writing. Thanks so much for your kind words, your reaching out for meaning. take care...dan

[Maja]

I don't know how you did it, but you made the difficulty of the subject you wrote about seem.. sweet. There was a victorious note to its end, which is actually the beginning of things getting better. These two lines:

"I’ve tried to make my inside voices
Sing in five-part harmony;"

Says a lot, and is actually relatable because we have these voices inside of us that we just can't quiet down, so we do our best to manage them. Of course, for some of us they're quiet, but for others, they are loud and they take up your world. Your poem was relatively short but it already said a lot, and the fact that despite the difficulty presented in this poem, it still showed that there is hope. Lovely, lovely writing. :)

[dan]

Thank you, Maja. There are a lot of personal feelings tied up in this write; it may seem to some as a simple rhyming piece...a throwaway. I invest a lot of my innermost heartbeats into the meaning of this poem, and I don't think anyone reading it will TOTALLY understand it. You came really close, I give you credit for that. And I thank you for coming so close, it validates the piece for me. take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

This makes me think of poor schizophrenics hallucinating voices in their heads with families they do their best to raise in the healthiest possible way and jobs and responsibilities they try to uphold in the best of their abilities. It must be so difficult for them as well as their families. This also makes me think of just everyday fearful chatter we have inside our heads, mentally ill or not. Either way, the road to normalcy is never easy. You penned it well.

[dan]

One of my least favorite symptoms are the rare occasions in which I get a bit delusional. It doesn't last long and is sort of tolerable (I do take an antipsychotic med) but they have been coming more frequently of late and had to write. Thank you for your review, and I also want to thank you for the read requests for others that you sent me; they were outstanding writes. take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

I am sorry you have to go through that from time to time. It is good that there's meds that help you manage it better. *HUGS* And a pleasure, I am happy you enjoyed those poems! I have wholeheartedly enjoyed them as well!

[MsJewel]

Your words are heartfelt Dan. I can't even begin to imagine your struggle, but I applaud you for the positive outlook. "I'm trying to begin". Such powerful words.

Julie

[dan]

I try not to complain about my condition in my writing, but at times when it is more overly active like it has been it helps me to see some positive signs. I have to quit writing about myself as much as I do. That has to be tiring for readers such as yourself. Thank you for your kind words. take care...dan

[Mayank]

I loved the choices of the words in first stanza, it can make readers think and twist their head with 'Sing in 5 part harmony' The flow again is a good one, thanks to you - for making me listening to Floyd once again.

[dan]

Yes, Pink Floyd always plays in the soundtrack of my mind. Thank you for the specific way you reviewed the piece, I always appreciate your feedback. take care...dan

[...]

Dan......how real does it get? This real, when you write your truth, and you did, as only you can :) Dare I say this is beautiful? Ya, I believe it is. It's lonely being ourselves, but loving others gives us someone else to think about. Outstanding piece of work here, my friend!

[dan]

Thanks lynn. Your strong piece that I reviewed earlier motivated me to put a new one up...oh wait, this isn't the new one. Never mind....Thanks for your delightful words and stuff anyway! take care...dan

[E.L. Debbage]

so clever and such strong imagery :) love it

[dan]

Thank you for your kind words. Nice cat, by the way. take care...dan

[~]

You have explored the world of battling this strong and smothering disease.
The powerful words resonate with the theme of not relenting, not giving in, nor giving up.
A grand write dear friend! :D

[dan]

As I get older my resolve seems to pick up steam; too often when I was younger I was prone to giving up...not my style now. Thank you so much for your kind words. take care...dan

[fattycbreezy52]

Wow.I love the tone and the urge to try,begin and keep on doing something new for the betterment of the others,with us and after us.Loved it:)

[dan]

breezy, Thank you so much for the kind words. There is actually a theme of battling mental illness and not giving in or giving up. Begin again to attempt a life of normalcy. Thank you for your interpretation. take care...dan