I hope to never experience this type of trauma from either end and feel empathy with those who do. While modernistic, the action and visuals are quite clear for all that. Maybe I watched Barnaby Jones too much as a child, but the images of a crsh cart are easy to see.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
A crash cart, that's a good image...should have found a photo of one to accompany the write. The fre.. read moreA crash cart, that's a good image...should have found a photo of one to accompany the write. The frenetic pace and the chaotic nature of the music was intentional; I took a big chance on this because a lot of readers could have easily been put off by it. Thank you for the interpretation and kind words. take care...dan
love this, dan... the first stanza describes perfectly the troubled pulse that sends the diagnostics into chaos... in the second stanza i hear the beeps and alarms of the medical machinery and see the flash of life jolting beneath the paddles as the soul sits at heaven's doorstep... and that last stanza shows me a man who appears lost and powerless, his own blood pumping, not knowing where to go... great write, my friend... I guess the hospital time has provided you with much to write about... hope Dee is mending well and that you are relaxing a little more :) - FT
Wow, FT. Here I was thinking that this write was an utter failure, maybe I delved into a landscape a.. read moreWow, FT. Here I was thinking that this write was an utter failure, maybe I delved into a landscape a tad TOO experimental. I just wanted to convey how pulse can be an anatomical action and an electrical impulse all at once. And then some poet has to go ruin it all by saying "figure this out!"
And as is your wont, you actually do. Your reviews always amaze me FT. take care...dan
9 Years Ago
dan, none of your writes are failures, my friend... they are yours to begin with and are personal re.. read moredan, none of your writes are failures, my friend... they are yours to begin with and are personal reflections of thoughts a specific times... our interpretations will either be based purely upon our own biases and limited information or will somehow detail how we feel about structure, grammar and so on... either way, they always make me think (the sign of any great piece of work) and force me to dig a little deeper to find meaning that might be shared with the author, you :)... and you are welcome, sir!
9 Years Ago
I am humbled by your kind words. Thanks again, sir! take care...dan
Very heartfelt poem Dan. The feelings that go into this I can see them just by reading. I wish you the best.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
How the pulse of an electrical jolt can mimic the blood rushing through veins and arteries to accomp.. read moreHow the pulse of an electrical jolt can mimic the blood rushing through veins and arteries to accomplish similar goals. That is my entire gamut of scientific knowledge. take care...dan
I guess I didn't make this piece very clear. I like to experiment sometimes and the result usually f.. read moreI guess I didn't make this piece very clear. I like to experiment sometimes and the result usually fizzles. Like a pulse ticking down to flatline. I appreciate the read/review very much, Ana. take care...dan
9 Years Ago
Lol. If you've been for an MRI you'll know what I'm talking about.
We interpret things based .. read moreLol. If you've been for an MRI you'll know what I'm talking about.
We interpret things based on our own life experiences.
No right or wrong.
9 Years Ago
I've had plenty of MRIs. Lots of concussions. Hockey, street hockey....I'm actually going to leave t.. read moreI've had plenty of MRIs. Lots of concussions. Hockey, street hockey....I'm actually going to leave this piece up and see if anyone thinks it's funny? Maybe? Then as a bonus for reading it I will offer a free MRI to all who participate. Sorry, Ana, I'm just not really happy with this write. The music is unbelievable, though. thx...d
I may have required shock treatments after posting this piece. My muse was slightly off kilter and.... read moreI may have required shock treatments after posting this piece. My muse was slightly off kilter and...ah, hell, it just kind of stinks. Thank you for the kind words, though, like a good friend would do. take care...dan
9 Years Ago
Dan, please don't sell yourself short because of my feeble attempt at leaving a comment that would s.. read moreDan, please don't sell yourself short because of my feeble attempt at leaving a comment that would suffice the intellect of your words. There is nothing wrong with this...you are an accomplished writer here at the WC, and I know I'm not the only one who thinks so!
9 Years Ago
Kelly, that's odd because I feel so overwhelmed by all of the naturally talented writers around me. .. read moreKelly, that's odd because I feel so overwhelmed by all of the naturally talented writers around me. In my group of friends alone I don't even consider myself in the top 25. I don't think I have the naturally occurring talent that so many others have, I just try really hard. I'm greatly humbled by your compliment. thx...d
always wanting instant gratification...power and wealth and electric relationships....
this can lead to outages of the heart and mind...
shock treatments...
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
to say nothing of the pulse that emanates from multiple portals...shock indeed! Thank you, jacob. ta.. read moreto say nothing of the pulse that emanates from multiple portals...shock indeed! Thank you, jacob. take care...dan
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