Watch the Specter I

A Repost...which means there's a Watch the Reaper II waiting right behind it...brand new!

When I close my eyes and count the droplets

Those eyes hope the tears have come;

Sifting sand through stubby fingers,

Like barbed wire, softly spun.

Jagged peaks on shifting landscapes

Swell till grinning shadows cry,

Hatred screams its garbled greetings,

Answers stop and crack the sky.

 

Stars align like neon road signs,

Pointing out the cosmic streets;

Slips of memory’s whispered secrets;

Tossing gems at princely feet.

Cackling laughter echoes wildly,

Gazing into dimming fires;

Seek the truth and stop the madman

As he reveals his warped desires.

 

Out of peace grow troubled battles

Coexistence growing harder;

Wishes falter, whispered anger

Changes fear to something smarter.

City lamps and rural moonlight

Gather all the darker scholars;

Count the pebbles, pile the harvest,

That the Night converts to dollars.

 

            Watch the specter count the mourners;

            Watch him grin in patient waiting.

                                    Watch the specter call the order;

                                    Watch them line up,

Watch the hating.

 

 

dan © 2015

Music: "Don't Fear the Reaper," by Blue Oyster Cult

Author's Note

Reviews

[Mayank]

The imagery is brilliant, I agree with Nadia's reviews here. There is feel that took back in time, about the psychopaths.

[dan]

Thank you, sir, I'm happy that you enjoyed it. take care...dan

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

First of all, LOVE THE SONG. One of my favorite.

Second of all, kudos to you for keeping on experimenting, for stepping through borders, for thinking outside the box. You are a tremendously feeling and gifted poet, I see it more and more with every write. This one has a classical feel to it. I'd say 19th century feel. And it is very haunting a la Jack the Ripper, a la Headless Horseman, a la The Hound of Baskerville. Very shivering. Gave me the hibby-jibbies!

[dan]

Nadia, I'm sorry--it was only meant to give the reader the 'hibbies' without the 'jibbies'. When I was younger I tended to write a lot of darker stuff, not because of my own personal darkness but just because I enjoyed doing so. It seems that the majority of readers don't like these as much as others, so I've cut down on them but still drag the darkness out into the light for fun now and then. I thank you so much for your complimentary statements, I don't feel that deserving. take care...dan

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

Dark and awesome, I really felt the world you painted! Great Job

[dan]

Crystal, Thank you...going dark sometimes brings out some nicely conceived thoughts. When I was young I did almost exclusively dark pieces; there are Goth websites that considered me a hero. take care...dan

[Not here]

i agree with the others that this was dark, but still a fantastic write :)

[dan]

david, (or do you want to be called Dante now? OK by me, I'll call you Santa Claus if you want) I used to do dark almost exclusively; there are several Goth websites that regard me as their hero. :) take care...dan

[Not here]

lol thats really cool :)

[sereenaoutloud]

This is a wee bit dark but awesome... brilliant imagery and flows effortlessly ...goes perfect with the song choice!! love this Dan

[dan]

When I was younger I did almost exclusively dark poetry. There are several Goth sites on which I'm considered a hero. I do have some disorders that darken my mood but I'm generally not a dark person. Thank you so much for the read/review. take care...dan

[Mara]

This is dark, and i love it!

I especially love these the lines

Stars align like neon road signs,
Pointing out the cosmic streets;

This is perfect! Great job:)

[dan]

Tee, I love to occasionally dip my toe into the dark waters of writing. I used to do approx. half my writes about the dark arts, not as much lately, just a less violent genre of darkness. Thanks so much for your feedback it's greatly appreciated. take care...dan

[....................]

I watched and felt the intensity, so much so, I slept with the light on.., that's what I wanted to do but I would be too embarrassed to admit it so I sucked it up and faced the darkness head on. I love your consistency as a writer, Dan, and know that whenever I see a RR in the box it will be something spectacular. The oxymoron of 'soft-sun barbed wire' - a sharp image... the mental chaos glimpsed along those streets of neon signs and written in the alignment of the stars... and the creative juxtaposition between light and dark, soft and hard, sanity and insanity - wonderful... and the music (though I am not a fan of the genre) fits so well with the intensity of this piece... Bravo, sir... well-done!!

[dan]

FT, Wow that is one comprehensive and complimentary review. I wrote this a couple of years ago and dug it out of mothballs when I wrote Part II. For whatever reason I seem to be able to do the dark stuff fairly well. There are several Goth websites on which I'm viewed as a hero for my writes. Sorry you don't care for the musical style but in my opinion it's the only genre that really completely fits the dark arts. take care...dan

[....................]

You are welcome, Dan... this piece really moved me... I may not be a fan of the musical genre but I appreciate it's reflection of the mood of your piece (no need to apologize) :)

[ANTO]

"Like barbed wire, softly spun."


"Stars align like neon road signs,
Pointing out the cosmic streets;..."




"whispered anger
Changes fear to something smarter."

"Watch the specter call the order;
Watch them line up,
Watch the hating."

so much magnificent imagery in this one. I feel its cliché to say I couldn't pick one or two because I could, so I did. (all of the above)

This is dark and foreboding but also has a quality that makes the reader feel they have to get to the bottom of this one - to glean that wisdom - to pan-handle this one or lose out, that despite the fact that we will all take something different from it.
I WISH I could pen a thing like this.
Nice one Dan.

[dan]

ANTO, for those who like darker poetry I find that they are seemingly able to immerse themselves in a write more completely than fans of other poetic genres. It's what keeps me coming back to the darkness once in a while to stir the pot. Thank you for your feedback, always valued. take care...dan

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Dark...me likey. Very well penned.

[dan]

IM, me thanky. I always appreciate your feedback. take care...dan

[Robert]

Dan, When I read your poems I must say they flow off my tongue so effortlessly. The word usage and the rhythmic flow is like a steam just flowing though the entire piece. Man you're good at that.

[dan]

Robert, Wow I'm very thankful and humbled by your compliments. Sometimes I feel like I AM writing in a rhythmic flow while other times I feel like I'm running in a ditch. I'm very happy that you like this write. take care...dan