Wow really strong words about yourself..
I can in ways relate to the son as I had a father I loved but still despised....
Thanks for sharing a strong story Dan.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Ronny, I actually wrote this in my son's voice. I was the s****y dad many years ago, both his mother.. read moreRonny, I actually wrote this in my son's voice. I was the s****y dad many years ago, both his mother and I never won any awards...we were constantly fighting, and we got divorced when Josh was 5. I was being discharged from the Navy so I had to come back to Pittsburgh, leaving him behind in Florida. Fortunately we have mended all fences since then and he's 32 now and we're probably closer than we've ever been. I go down to Pittsburgh about 7 or 8 times a year to see him and my 3 grandchildren. Some bad stories DO have good endings. Thanks for the review. take care...dan
9 Years Ago
That makes it even stronger.
Could not be easy to write this.
I'm glad things are goin.. read moreThat makes it even stronger.
Could not be easy to write this.
I'm glad things are going better, my dad died before we got the chance to reconcile.
So I'm very happy for you and your son.
Dan: Very good poem. It's full of your emotional strenght and the visual of it all is very clear through your wonderful use of language, and the title is great too. It is so sad, so melancholy and the death of a parent, at their own hands is so impossible to absorb completely, your poem is very descriptive. I couldn't imagine the strong feelings of abandonment and blame a child or an adult would feel if this happened. Great song, and band - saw them years ago. Many great words and many great lines. Thanks for a wonderful poem. Take care.....Dale
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Dale, That's not quite what I had in mind for the meaning, but I like your interpretation as much as.. read moreDale, That's not quite what I had in mind for the meaning, but I like your interpretation as much as my own! And I can easily look at the piece and see how you reached that conclusion. However a reader such as your self interprets my writing, it is never wrong; you saw it your way and for that I am so grateful that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your insights. take care...dan
Dan,
this must have been a very difficult write. Not only to acknowledge a painful past, but to tell it through the sentiments of your son. I am happy that now you two are close. :D
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
ms, Thank you, and thank goodness my son knows forgiveness even when it is probably not deserved. HE.. read morems, Thank you, and thank goodness my son knows forgiveness even when it is probably not deserved. HE'S the star of this write. take care...dan
Nice write, I like how you use music in your poems. I feel for you bro on this one. Not easy at all.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Jesse, Thank you, I don't know if it was clear but I wrote this in my own son's voice; I was the s**.. read moreJesse, Thank you, I don't know if it was clear but I wrote this in my own son's voice; I was the s****y dad. This is concerning his youthful years, he's 32 now and lives about 70 miles from me in Pittsburgh and I go down to see him and my three grandkids regularly. We are now close, thank God. Thanks for the review. take care...dan
It's such a tragedy when something like this happens. I didn't have to go through this myself but I wish this was something discussed more in society because I believe it to be more prevalent an issue than any of us realize.
Overall, though, I loved this peace. I could feel the emotion throughout it as if I was the boy that longed to have his father's approval and presence in his life. The song fit very well with this poem as well. Thank you for sharing, Dan :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I wrote this piece in my son's voice, I was the no-show dad. Neither his mother nor I could get past.. read moreI wrote this piece in my son's voice, I was the no-show dad. Neither his mother nor I could get past our own demons and divorce to give Josh the guidance he needed. Thankfully he ended up a great guy...he's now 32 years old with three kids (my grandchildren) that live about 70 miles away and I get down to Pittsburgh to see them as often as possible. We are, thankfully, very close now. Thank you for your kind review. take care...dan
Dan, this is one of your most magnificent writes yet. In a dignified manner, you were able to portray the plight of a military father with a mental illness that has not been properly addressed and the plight of the son who cannot develop accordingly into adulthood by all the horrors he has to face on a daily basis, by the lack of love and care he is given. I cannot help but feel empathy for both of the protagonists. They both suffer, just differently.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Nadia, I actually wrote this in my own son's "voice," with the a*****e dad being me when he was youn.. read moreNadia, I actually wrote this in my own son's "voice," with the a*****e dad being me when he was young. Due to his mom and dad's divorce, I had to move back to PA from Florida, didn't really see him regularly till he was 18 and moved back to Pittsburgh. Thankfully he turned out great, he's now 32 with three kids (my grandkids!) of his own and I drive the 70 miles or so to see them every few months. We are closer than we've ever been. Thanks so much for your review. take care...dan
9 Years Ago
Wow, thank you for clarifying that for me. I am glad it all turned out for the best in the end.
My father left in another way. He just left. The pain you show your reader here is deep seeded and intense. We do survive though don't we, Dan? You went on to love and write awesome poetry :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Actually this was written in the voice of my son, I was the s****y dad. Drinking and drugs, plus men.. read moreActually this was written in the voice of my son, I was the s****y dad. Drinking and drugs, plus mental health disorders derailed my ability to be a presence in his life. His mom was a piece of s**t too. Thankfully he turned out great, he lives 70 miles away from me in Pittsburgh and I drive down to see him, his wife and kids (my grandchildren). We are close now like we never were before. thanks so much for the review. take care...dan
The images you have created are raw and vivid...the emotion I felt in your words tells me this was written from a very deep place Dan....and the ending gave me goosebumps. Powerful emotions and powerful writing. You never cease to amaze me. Your writing is outstanding.
Julie
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Julie, Coming from you, anything that is complimentary about my writing is indeed an honor. Right ba.. read moreJulie, Coming from you, anything that is complimentary about my writing is indeed an honor. Right back at'cha! Thanks so much for the kind words. take care...dan
I really related to this poem, dan. My biological father was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and lets just say things between him and my mom did not go well. I didn't speak to him until I was 18, and I haven't spoken to him in 2 years because I just couldn't get over the things he did to my mom when I was a baby. Fathers suffering from addictions such as these so often forget or ignore how badly their actions will affect their children's lives and their own in the future. They just go for that addiction until it kills them.
All of that being said, I did enjoy this poem. You wrote about an extremely tough subject, and you wrote it very well.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Would you feel differently if I tell you that I wrote this using my son's voice? That the no-show da.. read moreWould you feel differently if I tell you that I wrote this using my son's voice? That the no-show dad was, in fact, me? His mother and I were poisonous together, both drunks and drug users, it's amazing he grew up as well as he did. And he and I are closer than we've ever been, he lives with his wife and my grandkids about 70 miles from me and I go down to Pittsburgh and visit them as often as possible. So some s****y stories CAN have happy endings. (My guilt is always present, however....good for me!) thanks for the sharing review. take care...dan
the casualties of war are often more than the soldiers who go to it...the ones left behind get left behind twice...when the leave, and often when they come back. Because they never really come back.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
I'll always feel guilt over the way my son was brought up...a drunk cheating mom and an absent alcoh.. read moreI'll always feel guilt over the way my son was brought up...a drunk cheating mom and an absent alcoholic dad. He was the REAL soldier through this and grew into a fine man, we're closer not than ever before. Thanks so much for your intuitive review. take care...dan