168 Hours

What if we were given notice that we have a finite time before the world would end? What if it was ONE WEEK? How would we spend that week...?

When I am told there’s a week left to live

I would divvy the time up that I wish to give.

The first three days of seven would be very easy;

I’d spend them with mine and my wife’s whole families.

We’d keep the mood light, for there’s darkness ahead;

We’d have no sad talking of when we are dead.

 

Then on the fourth day, we would visit old friends

To assure them that this will form friends to the end.

With so many stories from such varying sources

We would kick up our feet like a wild bunch of horses.

We’d dance to the memory of our silly endeavors and

Promise each other that there’s memories forever.

 

For the final three days, there’d be peaceful reflection,

For all of the love given in likewise directions.

Our time could not end without me and my wife

Remembering the good we had done with our lives.

And then the last day would see both of us standing

And holding hands tightly for evermore’s landing.

 

dan © 2014

 

Music: “The End,” by The Doors

Author's Note

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

It is a bit sad that we as humans choose to spend our time wisely only when we are given a finite amount of hours that are left to live. Only then do we reflect on our priorities, or when something tragic happens. I hope we learn, over time, to give important priorities more attention even without limits to our time. Put that aside, I thought this was very profound and stimulates reflection. And also, you seemed to have chosen to be peaceful about it, as if you made peace with the end in this world and are just awaiting for it to bring you to another world, just different than the former. Nothing to comment on the structure, except I thought line four in stanza one sounded a bit awkward with the "my and my wife's whole families". However, I don't know how that can be improved on.

[dan]

The line should have read "Mine and my wife's whole families," and I am going to edit that in right now, thanks for the heads-up. As far as the time spent wisely, I believe that as we get older, not just when we are near death, we start taking stock of what our life has meant and how we can make amends or at least attempt to mend fences that we have broken over the years. As a 58 year old guy a lot of those things pop into my head a lot. I've got miles of fence to repair. 8^) take care...dan

[Jesse]

Nice! I like how you write your wishes of what you'd do, probably already doing or done. Great Poem and nice length too. Though sad the note of how it starts...the poem flows very nice.

[dan]

Jesse, Thank you for your review. I have bookmarked your page and will try to get to review yours, but I've been and still am pretty sick recently, just tidying up my inbox. take care...dan

[Jesse]

Got it bro. Likewise, though I'm getting to know the place have only been here a day or is it two? lol. Until I know to book mark I'll get at you when I see your name pop up.

[....................]

A great way to want to spend our final days, Dan. Perhaps we should live every week like this, just in case :)

[dan]

That's what I had in mind but for the sake of the (Starlite) challenge's parameters I did not wish to come of sounding as if I was pontificating. But that definitely IS what I had in mind. Thanks for the great read/review. take care...dan

[RiverRei]

I love this. I would do the same thing if I only had a week to live. Very creative format and use of words. We seem to have much in common! That is, if this is actually about what you would do rather than another person as you normally write about :) Thank you for sharing, I loved reading this :D

[dan]

River, Actually probably 60-65% of stuff I write about are semi or completely autobiographical (with some flourishes of poetic license), but occasionally I'll just have an idea and populate the piece with characters, cut from whole cloth, around which I weave stories. I used to belong to Starlite Café and this piece was done for a formatted challenge, where the writers are given a scenario about which to write. So my feelings expressed are (mostly) real. Thank you for the review. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

an excellent bucket list for the last week of life.....spend them living it with the people we love, and make the most of sharing with them....

[dan]

jacob, thanks so much for your warm review. take care...dan

[modtoddinc]

This is an interesting poem my friend... you raise an extremely personal and introspective question: death is inevitable for us all, but I think many keep it at a distance. If you knew when... 168 hours... Wow! (excellent title) How would those few hours be spent? Deep thought warning! Your stanza's incorporate the importance of family, friends, and relationship, of which I agree and feel you have eloquently included here... yet I still find myself pondering... What would I really do? This is the majesty and brilliance of this piece. Effectively causing the reader to think about a subject that is difficult to think about (at least for some). Excellent job. There are a few little bugs in this that the English teacher in me wants to address, but I can ignore that. Thanks for sharing.

~Peace, Todd

[dan]

Todd, Occasionally I like to write things that will hopefully engage the reader and invite them to ponder the situation extant in the poem. That may be the best compliment you could have given me...what do YOU think? And thank you for the remark about the 'little bugs,' because I pride myself in my grammar and dangling participles (or participolous danglers), so I will take a good hard look at the piece and correct anything I find that even LOOKS suspicious. Hell, I may rewrite the entire piece. 8^) take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

I don't believe I would want to know, Dan. It would suck all the joy out of the quality of life that was left.

Is that your wife in your avatar...is that SNOW she's sitting in? Can't be...

[dan]

Kelly, This was a challenge on Starlite when I still was a member there that required us to detail how our last week would go, so that was the best I could come up with within those parameters. And yes that is my wife Dee (pic taken in 2007...she doesn't want me to post anymore recent ones) and she's sitting on a bed in an Atlantic City hotel room. If that was snow she'd be hidden by 9 layers of clothing. Thanks, as always, for your read/review. take care...dan

[wordman]

dan I wonder what a person would do,and you summed it up nicely my friend

[dan]

wm, Thanks for your kind words. Do you ever send read requests? I need to get to your page and review more but I have a hard time keeping up. An RR would certainly help. take care...dan

[wordman]

my pleasure dan,hardly ever

[Tom McRoberts]

Very touching and sincere. Beautiful use of Armageddon, as the revealer of priorities (in conventional literature the end of the world is so cynical). I'm not sure about the inclusion of the song, however. I LOVE it, but I think the tone of your poem and the song collide a little. Great stuff, keep it up!

[dan]

Tom, Thank you for your kind words. I will take your words concerning the inclusion of the song under advisement. If I do receive another such comment (which HAS happened before) I will remove the song. I appreciate the time taken for the read/review. take care...dan

[Tom McRoberts]

It was just the autoplay that caught me off guard to be honest, doesn't detract from the text at all.

[dan]

I understand. Thanks again for your input...dan