chasing the better me

A re-post; originally posted my first day on WC, only once reviewed. this is an exercise in self-examination, seeking to better myself

flying like madness and reaching for

avoidance, to be worn like lipstick masks.

shooing away the hate filled thoughts

(or maybe not).

a guidebook, filled with tear-soaked snapshots,

scraps of crowded imagery;

reminders of a shuttered past...

a fool’s errand?

that’s mine, and all messes made:

my toxic audacity, you know,

my majestic paradigm.

my curse.

 

well-intended passion plays

travel roads to thrones of fire and ice;

to be exacting and annoying?

it does seem  

to become me, if little else.

take pains to avoid all heartsick marathons,

pathways to pies in overblown skies; why then, why

is tenacity in such desperately short supply?

forge on? make dogged headway? nose to grindstone…??

yep, that’s the plan, mister; it’s not to be mocked, though,

as if by the comedian’s heckler.

 

repair too much and realize that such drastic

course corrections

often bend toward the pointless and rhetorical;

slipshod attempts to romanticize the irony

and to appear heroic, intrepid--

even gallant (with that pretentious french pronunciation) ---

yeah, all of that.

 

to find any manner of self

that embodies reformative, sensible ideals may be

too much of a fleeting concept,

requiring way too much humility and tact

to foster a glimpse of

“success is mine (or is it hope?)”

 

victory? a better me?

not quite. . . . no, not yet. . . .

perhaps, in time, i’ll be observant enough,

or at least be trying, to see ‘that’ self

in the distance.

              

dan © 2014

Music: "Netherlands," by Dan Fogelberg

Author's Note

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we hope experience makes a better us....and we think back on so many passion plays we directed in our lives, only to find fire and rain...and ? would frost again ask, which way would be better to die?

i guess either way, there are those of us who will die a poet's death....whatever that is.

[dan]

jacob, For me this is like a carrot on a stick theme; I will never get to where I want to be because my goal keeps staying one step ahead of me. But at least I'm not trying to find ways to make myself more lowly than I am. Your comment is well played, the point is well taken. As always, thank you for your read/review. take care...dan

[closed]

this was a fun introspective read

I liked it



-Dream

[dan]

Dream, Thanks so much for your kind read/review. In a few minutes I'm coming over to your page to see what goodies I can find. take care...dan

[closed]

Okay
sounds awesome

And sure thing Dan

[modtoddinc]

The song by Fogelberg is also a wise and thoughtful choice, nice job.

[modtoddinc]

Dan, one of the reasons I was drawn to your writer's café page is in your bio/about you; you mention being an over thinker... it's in your DNA. This brought a smile to my face because I too share this trait, and others have reminded me quite often. This is one reason I am an artist as well... because I need to release my over-thinking. (blessing/curse sorta stuff, right?) Anyway to your poem... as with my own early writing, I sense the same... it is very deep and personal. I also find a bit of humor within it, that for me, provides a break from your serious thought. There are many lines that speak to me, and show a potential for great poetic writing... I want to share them with you individually, not to break up your poem, I like it as a whole, but to share my favorite pieces and possibly show the potential for further development of thought... I am not a critic, nor do I feel comfortable being one, I just want to share what I see within this writing: So first off, I like the line, "to be worn like lipstick masks." So many images come up for me! It's a fantastic line and idea. Next, "a guidebook, filled with tear-soaked snapshots" This is an awesome way to speak of memories; joyous, painful, difficult, etc. Third, I love asking the reader (and myself) questions within the poetry: it causes thinking, which at least you and I enjoy, but I believe all readers like to be given an opportunity to answer a question. Finally the poem seems to take on a sort of a 'self-talk' coercion, as if we are looking in the mirror. Quite effective. I like this poem Dan, both as a whole and for its rich parts. Thank you for sharing.

~Peace, Todd

[dan]

Todd, This originally played out like a 'stream of consciousness' free-flowing brain dump, and I must say I thought it was pretty decent. But I originally wrote it just for myself, I was not going to post it anywhere (I belonged to Starlite Café at the time). But as it sat I kept being drawn back to it...so one day this past weekend I spent a couple of hours whittling it down to a lesser degree of all-in outpouring of thought. I looked at IT for a few days and decided I liked it much better and I felt good enough about it to post. I also liked many lines/thought progressions that resulted, but sometime in the future I will probably rework the final ending stanza...I just think I can do better than I did. Thanks so much...now I'm going to bed because right now I'm thinking way too much. :0
take care...dan