Bled Dry

a friend of mine fell hopelessly in love with a girl who cut out his heart

She scratched his world, that shark-fin girl,

She spread the kindling

Lit the torch…his Rorschach test guessed

Butterfly

But frozen moths appeared in hers.

 

He spent his heart with soul attached

His blood congealed in frigid veins,

She took the reins and rode him weak,

The days were skipped to speak

Of years; to end with tears

On wind-chapped cheek.

 

His love revealed, she bled him dry

To die inside beneath his skin,

Begin to wither like garden weed

Each seed reminds of what she killed.

This friend was broken, nerves exposed…

His bloodshot eyes

Forever closed.

 

His faith in feelings, shattered love

Above the fray,

Each rain-soaked day

Drip-dried above.

 

dan © 2015

Music: "Mud In Your Eye," by Nils Lofgren

Author's Note

Reviews

[....................]

his Rorschach test guessed
Butterfly
But frozen moths appeared in hers.

Too bad he didn't get a chance to see this before he was with her.

He spent his heart with soul attached
His blood congealed in frigid veins,
She took the reins and rode him weak,

Such vivid and brutal images of being drained and weakened for the kill. An amazing write, dan.

[dan]

FT, Thanks so much. This is really a true story that matches the theme in the musical accompaniment, happened about 35 years ago. I just thought of something; I don't think I've reviewed any of yours lately and I apologize for that. I really wish more of my friends would send read requests because I have a hard time keeping up with all. I'm going to your page right now to review at least two of them. Thanks again, and take care...dan

[....................]

No worries, dan, I know what busy is like when it comes to this site. There is no need to rush, my friend. Besides, I read and review yours because I admire your writing. All the best.. FT

[RiverRei]

This is explosive with imagery. It is so very dark, and yet so very interesting to read. I was sucked into it from the beginning. I now feel like my nightmare poem is unoriginal because yours is so very original. I'm terrible with words right now lol. I love how you always have music to go along with your poems as well. Very unique, I love it. Thanks for the share :)

[dan]

River, At times I worry that some readers will think that the music detracts from the write, a finite distraction. But I like a multi-media presentation approach, I dig deep to find music that complements the written words. BTW, unless you lifted passages from other people's writing your poem IS original. The only place where I may have an advantage over you is that I've got 33 more years of living to draw on than you do. Experience can very much shade one's writing style. Don't be in a hurry to reach 58 'cause you think your writing may be better. I'll trade my 58 for your 25 anytime. Thank you so much for the read/review. take care...dan

[RiverRei]

Hahaha, I'm in no hurry! I didn't use anyone else's writing, I just feel like yours has a more original feel to it than mine does. I just finished working out so my mind is a little cloudy, hopefully that made sense lol. I'm also hoping to keep my age from shading my style :) Thanks for the advice, Dan :)

[dan]

You can't help but have your age shade your style. In your 25 years you have reached a point in your life in which you view life through the lens of your experiences. Unless you write totally fictional pieces and project yourself into another character (a narrator) your age/life experience will color your perspective. Embrace that and enjoy it. take care...dan

[Isabel25]

This poem made me cringe at many places. Mainly because of so many raw references to blood and veins. I am extremely Haemophobic, and I find it very hard to read or talk about blood.

What is a Rorschach test??

This is an exceptional poem Dan. I am adding this to my library. "Blood congealed in frigid veins" "She bled him dry", "Wind chapped cheek"..I absolutely love these terms. This poem is a stroke of genius Dan. It made me shudder, but your command over prose poetry awes me. Thank you for the RR.

[dan]

Annie, I feel bad that all the blood references made you uneasy, but I write from the heart and if my heart dictates a feeling I have to try and match the wording to that emotion. BTW, a Rorschach test (commonly referred to as an "ink blot" test) is a tool some psychiatric entities use to gauge what an inkblot reminds the patient of, their reaction to a raw image. Thank you so much for your complimentary review. I only wish that I was as talented as you may THINK I am. take care...dan

[Isabel25]

You definitely are talented Dan.
Okaaaayyyyy! Yes, now I remember. I have heard of those, but i never knew the term. Good job once again Dan :) T.C