Forbidden Tower

where the mystical ones run to hide their ruinous beliefs

Forbidden Tower

 

I find myself alone and wandering

Along a dusky wooded trail,

A vestige of the dewy morning in

The feeling that one can’t fail.

But on a far different wavelength,

Guarded by the regal shield,

Is a nobleman and a commoner

Who stand together, will not yield.

 

Their venture is clearly plausible

As they approach the forbidden tower,

They bristle as the harsh wind blows

And they value every extra hour.

Then they burst inside, stand and gaze

At the golden hearth, the cord of wood,

And wrestle with their emotions

Like they never thought they would…..

 

Now the tower stands as a jagged test,

And the place where better men than I

Were coldly, rudely laid to rest

While time went whispering by.

 

dan © 2014

 

Reviews

[Gwynplaine]

Although the ABAB rhyming pattern came off to me as too simple and as a result out of place in a poam of this subject, the theme is capivatingly poignant, which I felt to be almost reminiscent of Shelly's "Ozymandias". Captures the sentiments surrounding aging and death quite well.

[dan]

Gwynplaine, This piece was inspired by a true local news story of a couple who lived in the same Assisted Living facility; the wife passes away and the husband was going quickly downhill also until the staff took him to visit his wife's gravesite. He seemed to rally, so they now take him every day to see her. They were married 66 years and now, almost 3 years later, he is going strong at 95. Thank you for your review. I will bookmark your page so I can return the favor soon. take care...dan

[Epicness]

Hi, this poem is really great! I loved the imagery and the variety of language that you've used. :)

[dan]

Epicness, Thank you for your kind words in your read/review. I've bookmarked your page and I will, eventually, visit to return the favor. If you'd like, send me a read request, as I have a hard time keeping up with all of my review obligations. take care...dan

[Demii]

I agree with the review below ! I really liked this, the flow and theme. Good description and etc, good read :)

[dan]

demii*, Thank you for the kind words, the read/review. take care...dan

[Nicholas Duboe]

Loved it. Imagery, description, fantasy. You did a fantastic job as well as doing good on the grammar (as sometimes I tend to correct people on it.) Again great job!

By the way, sorry it took me so long to get here, I got married March 7th and went on my honeymoon and just got back last night. Clearly, I was unable to use my computer (as I left it behind to enjoy time with my wife) so I hope you understand. Thanks!

[dan]

Thank you for your insightful review. Some people just say, "Nice write..." The fact that you took a few minutes to write something meaningful means that you believe others deserve the same kind of reviews you would expect. And I too am a stickler for correct grammar...as well as punctuation. take care...dan

[....................]

We often step inside our own minds to wrestle our emotions, both those garnered through physical interactions and those conjured by our own personal demons. Win or lose, one thing is for sure: the tower always stands as a testament to the things we must face up to and time continues to slip by unnoticed. A nice write dan.

[dan]

FT, A very intuitive review, you bring up angles that I hadn't even though of while writing it. A VERY interesting review. I thank you for taking the time to read and review, and especially thankful that you obviously put a lot of thought into it. Thanks so much! take care...dan

[....................]

You are kindly welcome sir! - FT

[jacob erin-cilberto]

time goes whispering by...and some hear the spiritualism, the love for mankind...
others flunk the jagged test...in the end, we are alone against that forbidden tower...we either fail or achieve...it is up to us...

meanwhile, "time goes whispering by"

another intriguing poem by you.

[dan]

Jacob, a very intriguing review yourself! You describe nuances that I inserted into the write that were very much (I thought) hidden, like Easter eggs. I'm guessing that your review will be the only one that is so well analyzed as you have done. Thanks so much for your always helpful reviews. take care...dan

[Jamestown]

Fantastic write! Great imagery and really intriguing journey! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[dan]

Thank you Jamestown. I always appreciate your viewpoint. take care...dan

[Jamestown]

Your welcome!