Two Poems (Written Simultaneously)

yin vs. yang? up vs. down? yes vs. no?....Right!!

Two Poems (Written Simultaneously)

 

Given my sunny day walk through all these dripping alleyways,

(an analogy for my speed through the absolute abuse)

I’m resigned to have frustration as a constant partner to dance.

(can this possibly leave me sated, hated by a hangman’s noose?)

 

Some say summer can seem so charmed, making loving magical,

(when the fires of hell are this diverse, where’s the golden now?)

With days that are likely sunny and glowing resolute in its wake.

(is this what death is really like, and must I do it now?)

 

Isn’t this what summer is, so bright and green and gold and hot?

(why is life ambiguous when death is so clearly not?)

 

dan ©2014

 

 

 

Reviews

[Confuser]

Too clever for me Dan: Oh my: what's not to love? Not one thing: Just thinking out loud; always finding a downside to this wonderful life we are blessed with. The writing is wonderfully parallels joy and peace, death and life and the point to me is live in the moment. You are just showing off: I agree with Anto.
Thank you so much. Dale

[dan]

Dale, I actually wrote this last year when I was totally blocked. This was like a "Hail Mary pass" in football, me just putting up a prayer. I'm not really satisfied with it, I could have done a lot better, but I'm so happy you like it. Thank you for your read/review. take care...dan

[Confuser]

You've read some of my "beginning poems" - neverending stories of "Hail Mary's" - and never will be satisfied with my poem, even with some progress. You are a wonderful writer. Dale

[dan]

If you look into the mirror you will see another wonderful writer. Keep writing! Thx...dan

[Confuser]

That's very kind: but I would see a reflection from my yesterdays; LOL! I wrote that somewhere...I either need coffee or don't....Thanks Dan; I will try!

[ANTO]

Oh now you're just showing off Dan !! ;p

I like the idea of the two voices here -
the downbeat writer is totally devoid of hope - seeking a final escape and eternal peace whatever the cost - the only cost ?
the upbeat isnt really the indigestible sugary sweet that I expected (I admit I read the down first - what does that say about me - glass half empty, I expect). Not when you consider just how down, the downbeat writer is. I was expecting ponies and unicorns (ponycorns?) and rainbow zephyrs
On reflection though you got it right, I feel. A realistic version of both sides now.
Very cool Dan. I enjoyed it thoroughly my friend. :)

[dan]

Anto, Showing off? This was actually a Hail Mary pass when I was totally blocked. This was more desperation than inspiration. I'm just happy it worked out as well as it did. Thank you for your kind words and for the read/review. (Nice to see you back, by the way!) take care...dan

[ANTO]

LOL @ "This was actually a Hail Mary pass when I was totally blocked. This was more desperation than inspiration." - you have a great way with words - I'd be proud of this one on a bad day!
thanks Dan - :))

[dan]

No, thank YOU sir! take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the split personality of the poet, they ying and yang...the good and evil side of the writer battling within...

nicely conceived and done...

[dan]

Jacob, Thank you, but this was actually a Hail Mary pass as I was mired in a slump, big time blocked. I was actually just throwing up a prayer and fortunately it turned out better than I had even hoped. Thank you for the read review and I'll be reviewing some more of yours later today. I've been a little under the weather and haven't kept up with my normal read/review duties. take care...dan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

well often the hail marys are the best plays...spontaneous poetry combustion...

[Michelle Coleman]

Well! It's hard to know what to say. 😉

Your "poems" are certainly creative in the manner of delivery. I had to read it three times in three different ways.

This is what I got...

Bitterness...loneliness...longing...despair

Whether or not this was your message, I find it to be thought invoking. An invitation to soul searching as a way to find that magical kind of summer love.

[dan]

Michelle, this was actually an accidental success. I was so blocked at the time that I was grasping at straws and had to work some kind of gimmick to get one written. I'm actually surprised at the good reviews I'm receiving since, at the time, I didn't think this write was actually any good at all. My spirits are buoyed by the response, and I thank you very much. take care...dan