tears of the sun

a trippy exercise in philosophical playfulness...right?

tears of the sun

 

with this generous concern for all of those

who stand so stiffly subdivided;

some forsake the gaudy baubles

for those so damned aloof, misguided.

the reasons for having tried so hard

to define such thoughts, so nebulous,

is for capturing the absolute

in the absence of question, incredulous!

these thoughts that so disturb our minds

are written, detailed, in the bible;

with the sleazy snake that coaxes all to bite,

flares the appearance of the devil, in disguise, as a rival.

to contradict or copy tempting words

of other snakes

reeks of ignorance, exposing one to each

and every claim they make.

but snakes should never occupy one’s mindset

anyway,

though we stumble, dead and waxy, through

a shady speck of day.

these lives are filled with the much sicker

and malignant diversion,

such as stabbing with dull arrows

to impale the necks of the surgeons.

whether flaunting one’s bare knowledge for those who just don’t care,

or scrubbing the ghostly remnants out of

colored, unkempt hair.

the sting of your blind visions would appear so overdone,

as if crying your own blood, mixed with

these tortured tears of the sun.

 

dan © 2015

Reviews

[Olumegbon]

really love this, nice one there. thanks for sharing with us.

[dan]

Thank you for your read/review. take care...dan

[Miss Sharon]

Whoa Dan! What a powerful and stunning write this is. It's good to see you again, and yes my name at Starlite is OnePurpleCrayon. ~Sharon

[dan]

Thank you, Sharon. It's good to hear from you, hope everything is well. I appreciate the read/review and I will be visiting your page to reciprocate. Thanks again! take care...dan

[Roshan Nair]

Wow, you've written a trippy poem alright! I really really enjoyed it, you've drawn such diverse pictures here, there must have been so many inspirations to them all I can imagine...must have been some journey writing this im certain. great work again dan. cheers

[dan]

Thank you Roshan. Sometimes I just open my mind and whatever spills out gets written down, sorted and placed in spaces making up a poem. It's like a cleansing of my brain. take care...dan

[~]

I can totally picture you Dan wearing your Toga, right next to Aristotle and trying to find reasons to the great divides people bring. I liked your usage of symbolism and allusions. You tackled this really well.

[dan]

Wow, I can't even picture me in a toga! Thank you for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. take care...dan

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

unkempt hair..hummm you talking about dreadlocks, Dan? just kidding....I can imagine that this was tough to pen with the complex theme and challenging end rhymes....very good job

[dan]

Thank you, Rico. Actually when I wrote this I consciously just let my head open and let the words fall out, it flowed from head to keyboard like stream of consciousness rambling. I like to do that sometimes, it's like sharpening all the tools at my disposal. Thanks for the great review. take care...dan

[Jamestown]

Great piece of work, I enjoyed reading this, free flowing, seams effortless.
The massage is terrific and closing is unforgettable, Thanks for sharing and b-blessed.

[dan]

Jamestown, Thanks for the read/review. Always grateful for your kind words. I've been meaning to visit your page for awhile, reciprocate support. take care...dan

[Cryingkate]

You or others might call this "scattershot thoughts" but I don't.
I understood every word. and I bet there might even be another layer. But I read it all on one layer.

This line.. " tortured tears of the sun" will forever be in my mind. When I think Of "The Christ" the enlightened I see the tortured tears of the sun. and I don't mean the physical Jesus
it's all in there even the Mayan sacrifices..
You might not of even know all you were speaking of but I have been studying and studying and listening to that higher consciousness just as you were listening here.

I can't tell you how many times I write this way. almost always and it amazes me how many layers and truths are spoken and written without my minds understanding.

Wow.. This is truly truly Beautiful, I hope you have lots of these ........

[dan]

Kate, it's not that I don't understand it myself, it's just that I don't know how to explain it. That's the way my thoughts were jumping, a little manic. By the way I posted another one, called "She Sings." You might like it. You might like it, it's a little whimsical, a little weird. I was really happy with it when I wrote it. thanks again...dan

[Cryingkate]

Dan.. I hate to tell you this but I just reviewed She sings before reading this Only moments ago)and you already commented.
DAn... Come.. sit down and rest.. You have been on your feet too long and the heat from the stove must be awfully hot.
Is the stove vented? Any fumes escaping ?

HA ha It's ok.. We are both past 50 so it's our privilege :-)

[dan]

No, my marbles are a little jumpy up there, but in no danger. 8^) take care...dan

[AprilRN1210]

This one took my mind a little bit of everywhere, Dan.. the flow was divine, thus I was able to fully immerse into the imagery and "story-line"---which was deep at times, and confusing at others.. .. I admit, I have read it several times and enjoy it a little more each time.. The last six lines are my favorite, soooo powerful.. evil comes in all forms, and sometimes "ignorance is bliss"... or at least let us have those "diversions"--they help keep us sane (mostly)...

[dan]

April, My college literature professor called this kind of write "scattershot thoughts." I realized that it may be confusing for the reader, but when I thought about changing it the keyboard seemed very far away. I couldn't distill it without my idea being compromised. I'm glad you at least liked the end. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing it. (I commented on your collaboration!) take care...dan

[Michelle Coleman]

Your style is one of ease and flow. Reading this poem was a lot like following a thought stream. It moves so fast that I sometimes had to go back and make sure I understood where the path was leading and then I would jump right back in. The part that spoke to me the most began with the words, "these lives are filled with the much sicker and malignant diversion," and led all the way to the end.

[dan]

Sometimes my writes take on that stream of consciousness feel. My college lit prof called it "scattershot thoughts." My first instinct when finished with one like this is to edit it, take it down a notch. But I usually stop myself because that write really captured what I was feeling at the time. Thanks a lot for visiting and reviewing. I am waiting for Chapter Two. take care...dan

[Michelle Coleman]

Scattershot thoughts. That is a good way of describing this. You make it seem so easy, which shows me that you have been mastering this technique. I find myself wanting to try it.

[dan]

Michelle, I'm posting one I just wrote today. It's called "word salad" and is a sort of non-stop stream of consciousness poem. It's pretty graphic, some may say disturbing. This is like the ULTIMATE scattershot thoughts. take care...dan

[Michelle Coleman]

I will look for it.

[Confuser]

In the beginning it sounds as if you're saying: I really don't give a rat's behind: those cliques, humm; so much better than others in their own minds; the insecure tempted to use others' words; it is very well written; like I said you are very talented; as if crying your own blood, mixed with these tortured tears of the sun; love that too. Got a lot of snakes around my house; but never worry about them anywhere else. Thank you Dale

[dan]

Dale, Thank you very much for the read and review. Thanks also for the complimentary comments, you are too kind. take care...dan

[Confuser]

Y/W................Dale