Right-Field Odyssey

a right fielder whose eyes are not always on the ball

Right-Field Odyssey

 

As the little boy chases butterflies in right-field

The coaches and players yell….

Jimmy! The ball….Get the ball!!

Jimmy throws his glove down so as

To free both hands because - -

As any kid knows - -

It takes two hands to catch a butterfly.

 

The center-fielder runs over, yelling at Jimmy…

Jimmy! The ball….Get the ball, bonehead!!

Jimmy tries to catch his breath because - -

As any kid knows - -

It’s really hard to run so fast because - -

As any kid knows - -

Butterflies know how to stay just out of reach!

 

The center fielder who had come over

Threw the ball to the infield to try to get the runner out

At the plate, but - -

As any kid knows - -

Baseball players can run far while right-fielders are

Chasing butterflies

And the game is over and kids are yelling at Jimmy,

Who is still chasing that butterfly and

Probably still is

Today.

 

dan © 2015

Reviews

[simonedavlin]

such a fun poem! the voice was pleasant to listen to and the subject made me light-hearted. Maybe, to increase some of the playfulness, you could include some rhymes? The natural tone now works great but that's my only suggestion for spicing it up and making it more memorable!

[dan]

Simone, Thank you for your read/review. The reason I didn't rhyme this one is that I wanted a more conversational feel to it, like someone sitting next to you and telling what he just saw. I do a lot of rhyming, as you'll see if you look at more of my stuff. I bookmarked your page and am looking forward to reading and reviewing your writes. take care...dan

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

Chasing butterflies is like chasing your dreams although maybe out of reach, subject to ridicule, but with patience and time are catchable.... Well done

[dan]

Rico, Thanks for the great read/review. I suppose that all of us are butterfly-chasers deep down. Chase your dream...it's the American way? take care, friend...dan

[Confuser]

Dan, I loved it. The vivid images you brought to me, wow, I am so thankful. However, I did take this wonderful writing as a metaphor for life. You kept building with the coach, the players; and I could imagine his parents; everyone telling someone/anyone to do this: get in the game: but he wanted to follow his dreams. And everybody knows you have to use both hands; everything we have; all our will to fight dogma and society's exspectations. Suppose I love those butterfly chasers and always will! And made me think of the plite of the monarchs and milkweed; hehehe; not that it's not important it is; I'm a nature nut; your writing is uplifting. Thank you Dan. Hope you're finding your way around on WC.

[dan]

Confuser, Something like this happened when I was a kid in little league. A kid that everyone called Jodie Big-Ears was chasing butterflies in right field. I think I learned how to swear that day. As I considered writing this I realized that a lot of instances that happen while life is going on turn out to be metaphors for life itself. These miniature passion plays that make up a life can be expanded as a teachable lesson on life. Thank you for your insightful review. I am bookmarking your page and will stop by to return the favor later today (?). Or sometime. take care...dan

[Confuser]

Thanks for sharing. Have some little league stories too...especially when the kids are young...they are so funny. Great write. Dale

[Alisa Js]

Aloha,

What a tender and heart-tugging piece. Thank you for sharing your talent with us out here..

Alisa

[dan]

Thank you for the review, it means a lot to me. take care...dan

[Bonaventure Onuabuchi]

The depiction is vivid and thrilling! Determination and unrelentingless will bestow upon Jimmy the winning crown. Take care Dan.

[dan]

Bonaventure, Thanks so much for your awesome read/review. You made me smile....what did you do that for? (kidding....) take care...dan

[Bonaventure Onuabuchi]

It's always your diction(take care)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good for jimmy!
keep chasing those butterflies...
and let that runner be safe at home...if he catches the butterfly they will both be happy.

[dan]

Have to do a little on the light side for my grandkids sometime. take care...dan