forgotten warrior

written about 7 years ago, it's about being tired of seeing all of our military volunteers coming home in boxes

forgotten warrior

 

before I slip into unconsciousness,

walking the tightrope of concertina wire,

the voices must be studied, then answered,

then the self-immolation may begin in earnest.

 

tortured soldiers seek medication-kisses on

metaphysical (metaphorical) foreheads; they

realize that “support the troops” is code for

“support flag-draped coffins.”

 

before I slip into irreversible coma status,

the delicate dainty doctors discuss derailing

my incandescent spark of impending doom/gloom,

essentially tossing out the flamethrower with the bath water.

 

          ...leaving a bed filled with ashes

          (and little else).

 

                        

riki © 2008

Reviews

[~]

Painful reminder of the war and its malign claws. If I may offer a suggestion, that you can totally disregard - how about "medicated kisses" instead?
Again, a powerful write!!

[dan]

I actually, in my first few drafts of 'warrior', did have it as 'medicated kisses.' I changed it because I wanted it to reflect that the kisses were being planted by the medication itself, not someone applying the medication. Tell the truth, I think either way would work just as well. I appreciate the suggestion; I am not one to blindly refuse suggested changes. I have edited many of my writes on Starlite after a change was suggested. I appreciate it! take care...dan

[~]

:) Aha - great minds think alike ^_^

[Kelly Scheppers]

My God man, this is staggering...one verse after another! I am so proud of you...even though I've only known you for a couple of days. Your talent is amazing!

My best,
Kelly

[dan]

Kelly, Thank you so much. I don't usually get political in my writing because of the polarizing nature of political discourse these days, but at that time I was furious at Bush/Cheney for immersing us in conflict after conflict. In fact the original version of the poem (the vulgar one) was this: (in place of "support the troops" is code for "support flag-draped coffins!", it read "support the troops" is code for "support george f****n' bush!") Starlite would not accept it that way so I figured I'd better not do it here. Thank you for your kind words. take care...dan

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

I love you rhythm and style and tongue and cheek wit about you. Another masterpiece.

[dan]

Thank you, Rico. I'm glad you enjoyed it. take care...dan

[Matching Socks]

No matter how you slice it, there's nothing glamorous about war. I feel for the families whenever I hear another soldier has fallen. Tragic. Good writing dan.

[dan]

Ana, Thank you for the read and review. I'm happy that you enjoyed it. take care...dan