a rained out love

Rain has a way of dampening everything; feelings, love....these are vulnerable also. riki

a rained out love

 

listening to news reports of

washed out roads and fallen boughs

does not distract me from the haunted hurt

surrounding my smoldering heart

as the rain extinguishes our love.

 

i gaze into the night gloaming and tremble

as I hear the tremors of thunderous thrusts

adorned by flashes that crack the sky;

my heart grows dimmer in the blackness

that now consumes the bloodless soul.

 

i gaze into the faltering night, and the sky

spits violently, covering windows with the trails

of raindrops, augmented by

a single tear

to end the storm

undone.

 

riki © 2014

Reviews

[Alisa Js]

Hello Dan,

This one spoke to me of sadness, actually... of allowing one's circumstances to dictate the atmosphere inside where it's warm and dry.

Or maybe, thunderstorms may trigger a subconscious reaction that dampens the mood all around.

Love the imagery, tho... quite intense.

Alisa

[dan]

Alisa, Some of the saddest or darkest things I write are when I am actually feeling really good; I wrote this, originally, on August 5th, which was actually my wife's and mine 20th anniversary. (Lovely grammar, huh?) My mind works in funny ways. Thanks for the read and review, your observations are valued by me. If you don't like something I write don't be afraid to suggest how I could have made it better. People have suggested things to me before that I thought about and made some changes. I won't be insulted or hurt, I promise. (BTW, is it improper for me to say Aloha since I'm not Hawaiian? Just wondering...) take care...dan

[Alisa Js]

wow, isn't it amazing how the human mind works? For me, I can only write sad or dark pieces when I am sad and feeling dark, emotionally speaking..

You can absolutely say Aloha as it has many meaning in the Hawaiian language. For example...

Aloha means love, affection, peace, sympathy, pity, kindness, mercy and compassion. However, it also has a deeper impact on the Hawaiian culture. For the Hawaiians, there's "The Aloha Spirit," a unique way of living, the ultimate lifestyle, or the secret to a rich life.

Aloha can also be used to greet someone, or say goodbye. Aloha is more than the sum of its meanings; the word/expression relates to a quasi-philosophical definition or concept.

If we dissect the word "Aloha", we learn more and dive into the roots of Hawaii: "Alo" means "to share"; "oha" means "to show affection or friendship", and "hā" means "life, breath". In the end, we get a positive attitude, an act of kindness. However, historians underline that "hā" is not "ha", so the correlation might not be entirely correct.

The Aloha Spirit prevailed in the Hawaiian culture and society. In less than a century, the famous expression traveled the world and was adopted by multiple languages, with the help of surfing and its cool, laid back approach towards life.

To have or not have Aloha, that is the meaning of life. The popularity of the word kept growing, and Hawaii got a new nickname for the license plates: "Aloha State."

So, see Dan? You can use aloha, who knows? Maybe one day you and your wife will vacation here in Hawaii?

You never know..

Alisa ;-)

[dan]

Alisa, I'm not joking around, the most I know about the Hawaiian culture is what I see on Dog the Bounty Hunter. Does that show give a good feel for the Aloha Spirit or Hawaiian way of living a laid back life, living life in a respectful and harmonious way. Does the Chapman family and show cast Hawaiians in a good or bad light? The Samoans on the show have a different culture but tremendous family dynamic and the belief in doing right. I think it would be great to live there, I could take that weather. (Does it really rain once every day?) Yeah, I could tough it out. Interesting I find that all of this Hawaiian society and Aloha Spirit is fascinating and as captivating as what I've learned about Greek culture and language. I should have to pay tuition for all that I learn on WC. take care, aloha...dan

[MsJewel]

The images you have created are so vivid...I could see the flashes in the sky, hear the thunder roar...I love the ending as well.
A pleasure to read your work!

:) Julie

[dan]

Julie, Thank you so much, I do enjoy tapping into imagery and using it liberally to paint a word picture in readers' minds. I'm so happy that you liked it; thanks again! take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

"...and the sky spits violently,
covering windows with the trails
of raindrops..."

How perfectly those raindrops fall, creating a lull in our consciousness. Much enjoyed your interpretaion of the rain, Riki.

[dan]

Thanks so much, Kelly. Always enjoy my words being quoted back to me. I allow myself that little vanity. I appreciate your review! take care...riki

[Kelly Scheppers]

I feel it's a form of flattery, don't you? You're wonderful to read!