shrouded sun (9/12/01)

On 9/11 I was unable to write due to the enormity of day's events. The next day I sat down to write but was only able to string together abstract, seemingly disconnected, thoughts. This is the result.

shrouded sun (9/12/01)

 

 

little man lost

in tragic grown-up

maze,

dodging sweeping limbs

of furious tree,

reaching for sinister

star,

hanging hope on

pointed tears.

 

boyish man of serious-

ness,

forging wispy trail

of truth,

grasping string of

faltering heart,

whisp’ring lyrical

life’s lament.

 

man of stinging loss,

facing future’s jagged

edge,

whips through tempest’s

wailing winds,

halting search for shrouded sun.

 

backward-longing man

of means,

screams down path with

naive signs,

freezing forward,

lurches;

cries at piled-up gravesites…..

 

precious little left to lose.

 

 

riki © 9/12/2001

 

Reviews

[willweb]

This was very deep and thought provoking. I like how this wove its way through the page...no straight lines here, but thoughts running rampant, screaming for attention shouting a message that needs to be heard. That was ahorrific day...I understand your thought and your pain.

[dan]

willweb, Thank you for your read and review. I'm glad it made at least some sense to you because now, 13+ years later, all I can recall is my confusion and anger. Your interpretation of these abstract thoughts ring very true to the way I felt then, and still now. I plan of making my way to your page to peruse your work. take care...dan (real name, NOT riki)

[ANTO]

I watched it on TV - the day the world changed,
the bewilderment and staggering loss -
its all very well documented here Riki as if I were walking through it again.
You wrote this because you had no choice but to write it.

[dan]

Anto, Thank you very much. I have bookmarked your page and plan to review some of your work soon. Thank you for reviewing mine, I appreciate any feedback I get. I'm new here and trying to get my feet wet, so I am sending you a friend request; I'd be honored if you accept. Thanks again! take care...riki

[Kelly Scheppers]

This is a remarkable piece of work, Riki...and is deservant of many more reviews!


My best,
Kelly

[dan]

It was one of the most difficult pieces I ever worked on, even though it flowed from mind to keyboard with no filter. Thank you for your kind review. take care...riki

[dan]

This was written the day after the terror attacks of 9/11. I couldn't write that day, and the next day all that I could come up with are these very emotion-driven abstractions, seemingly disconnected. If the reader remembers that day, keeping it in mind while reading may help the reader understand at least the emotional foundation of this write. thank you...riki