In Dreams

You pursue me and you would even follow me in the dark and if you continue, the reward will be great.

Dreams, these are magnificent creatures that we all admire, they dwell in an Enchanted Forest that is visible for all of us to see but these creatures are also hostile, repulsive, and dangerous. They take many different forms but even if we do not understand it, still we follow these unusual creatures despite not knowing where we are headed, although one thing is certain, they either take us to paradise or the abyss. Sometimes we can't follow these creatures for they are chained by invisible chains of life but it is not the chains that they fear for they know every chain can be broken. They fear something else because like all creatures they are hunted by an entity that even human beings cannot defy and this entity has the power to wake the dreamer for we all know when the dreamer wakes all dreams must fade away.

Author's Note

Yo, I'm just an amatuer so, if it's bad let the comments flow if it is good, same thing. Thanks

Reviews

[Jade]

wonderful creativity here, this is written well

[Rye]

Not all dreams fade away, They stay in the mind after you awake.
This is really good.

[Coyote Poetry]

Great power in dreams. We can see the future in some. I liked the thoughts and the description in the story. I liked how you took the reader with and you made them think. Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[barleygirl]

I like it when a beginning writer starts out small like this. It makes it easier to try to give you some meaningful feedback. Sometimes new writers start with a multi-chapter book & there's just too much to try to comment on. Plus I think it's good writing exercise for a new writer to focus his/her thoughts. That's the best part about your message. You have focused your ideas into a thought-stream that makes sense & you are clearly doing a good job of persuasive writing. You are also strong in finding creative ways to express yourself instead of straightforward description. You use metaphors & comparisons & all these creative ways to SHOW instead of tell (first rule of good writing).

Ideas on how to practice SHOW instead of tell:
"Creatures are hostile, repulsive, and dangerous" . . . these are descriptive words, but you could show us what the creatures DO -- what makes them "hostile, repulsive, and dangerous?" Use action verbs for a more dynamic description. Example: "creatures will rip away craters of oozing pus from your face if you stand too close!" . . . Later on, about chains . . . you could add more dynamic descriptions by using all the senses . . . show me how these chains SOUND, do they smell like RUST? Instead of repeating the word "chains" . . . find different ways to SHOW us chains. I don't expect you to change this, but just keep ideas in mind for future writing (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[E7]

Thanks for the advice

[Nyx]

I'm getting this sort of psychological feels.......................no offense though, It was amazingly written. I wish to read more from you!!!!!!!!!

[Ghost writer]

I really life this, it shows the difference between waking and dreaming and how there both real but only one of them is true, sometimes we wish we could fall into the abyss of our dreams and just live there forever because so often our dreams are better than reality but that's just not how it is. because a real life with some sadness is better than a fake one, even if it's happier, it's not real, and part of you would always know that.
this is a good piece, obviously really made me think, ice work E7

[E7]

Thanks I'm glad you liked it

[Onlyme]

Wonderful creativity held inside this fascinating, thoughtful, intriguing tale about dreams.

[Wild Rose]

I like that they live in an enchanted forest
They often take me high over the hills an valleys as if I were flying
Sometimes so vivid I wonder if they were real or imaginary

[wordman]

i guess it`s a little good verses evil

[Flowers of Eternity]

Great creativity, even for an amateur. Although for my opinion, you could use a little more figure of speech. But all in all it is a wonderful story. Keep up the good work and hoping to read more of your writings.