Unexpectations

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unexpectations

　

　

　

　

　

　

The other day I awoke deep down at the botom of

a puddle, looking up

when a reflection of myself suddenly appeared and

looked down at me,

and laughed,

and although I didn’t want to, I did too,

I guess I really didn‘t have a choice

in the matter.

 

And then, he just walked away, with a sad smirk.

 

Funny how, dreams and reality are really

both on the same page,

of our mind.

 

I guess it really just depends where

you finally, draw the line.

 

Walking on tight ropes really isn’t all that risky

after all is it?

 

There’s something comforting

in a pitiful way,

when you already know you’re going to,

fall.

 

That’s my life, right there.

 

Just expecting to lose something, is losing it already,

isn’t it?

 

How damn unfair it is to sanctify someone,

and expect them to live up to our bullshit expectations.

 

Life isn’t a game of chess, where you are the king,

hell I‘m not even a pawn,

you just can’t over analyze it,

but nevertheless, sometimes, that is just a curse we wear

like a scar on our tainted mind.

 

God just to be genuine, with others, and with

oneself again.

 

As if that’s little to ask for.

 

That’s the only way it was ever supposed

to be.

 

I’m assuming I was authentic and absolute at one time,

at least when I was a little bit younger

but right now,

my mind doesn’t care to pull those recorded documents

of authenticity off the shelf,

it would rather wallow like a hog

in a big fat pothole

of self pity.

 

I already knew that in the long run

I wasn’t going to accept happiness anyway.

 

But I guess it had been so long,

since I’ve had any,

that I forgot what light tasted like.

 

And so I got used to the flavor again,

and I savored it, wholeheartedly,

probably knowing in the back of my mind,

not to relish it too much,

as you will just miss all that much more

when its gone.

 

Its sad when realization does, finally catch up to you.

 

We think we can build invisible walls

to cage in this unrealistic life,

only to find out,

the walls were invisible because they were never there

to begin with.

 

You ever walk out on a bridge too far

and realize that you will never make it if you continue?

 

So you take one last look, and think,

if only,

as you walk on back.

 

Funny how we talk ourselves into thinking

that we can change, and handle things differently,

when in the end, those damn spots just won’t wash off

our skin so easily do they.

 

I was going to say that its not easy

being a coward,

but then I heard myself saying,

wow that is something only a coward could say!

 

It is, easy being a coward.

 

It’s just not easy waking up with one everyday,

looking back at you,

in the mirror.

 

You ever hate,

who you are?

 

Not much fun, is it?

 

God I hate fear.

 

And I fear

hate.

 

Sometimes though,

the fear alone of losing something you care for

so very much, is just too much

to bear.

 

What’s even scarier,

is realizing that you never even had it,

in the first place.

 

It’s true,

the best things in life are,

unexpected.

 

I guess because there never were,

any expectations

to begin with.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[cest la vie]

If only there were a rule book imprinted in our hands upon birth..how much simpler this life thing could be..
no expectations equals no disappointments..
very thought provoking piece here Antonio..
well done my friend

[lauren emily]

Wow..just..wow. This is definitely one of my favorites of yours! The last few sentences were so powerful...Well, the whole thing in general was. haha.
Fantastic! :)
~Lauren

[Elissa; the genuine art..]

This is breathtaking.
"It’s true,
the best things in life are,
unexpected.

I guess because there never were,
any expectations
to begin with."

That is such a beautiful statement.
I love the essence to this piece.
Excellent work.

-Elissa :)

[heido]

If you let go of this idea of ownership, and allow yourself to exist as a part of love, it becomes something you well never have to lose.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-7

[Liv]

I really liked this one! My two favorite parts for me are:

"--you just can’t over analyze it,
but nevertheless, sometimes, that is just a curse we wear
like a scar on our tainted mind."

And also:

"We think we can build invisible walls
to cage in this unrealistic life,
only to find out,
the walls were invisible because they were never there
to begin with."

I really liked those lines because I totally understand what you mean in them. I enjoyed how it was written and I like where your coming from.. very nice!