Drift Away

 

 

 

 

 

Drift Away

 

　

　

　

What wonder there is,

in even the simplest of things;

those quietudes of purity oft

tempered with the complexity,

of tangled skin and intricacy.

 

Like a smile, you can only read,

goose bumps from someone

you never even met,

or the flight of an invisible kite

high up in the clouds

tethered by only a thread of trust

and some slippery, grip of faith.

 

Its funny how the special person

can make it seem like you’ve almost

been sightless and deaf all your life,

how the colors in music

now almost blind your ears,

how the melody of a sunrise

now almost silences your eyes,

how every moment begins

with so much more meaning,

and how every instance yet

has so much more loneliness,

because you now live in

the land of I wonders,

and, what ifs?

 

I don’t know.

 

Its everything you wanted

that you never even knew,

and, its everything you didn’t want

that you were afraid, to ever know.

 

Ahh, the balance of being.

And, this broken ruled, equity

of impermanence.

 

I never felt how the tongue of tides

reached deep, inside

the mouths of rivers that empty yet,

in stride into the sea,

until I met you.

 

Nor how the blustery

of vicissitudes could be so

tempestuous, and frigid

when they disappear with not notice

or consideration.

 

But then, since when has wind

itself ever known

which way it was headed.

 

All it ever wanted to do,

just like life itself,

was to chase the shadows,

of a setting sun,

in the search sometimes,

of an unwanted afterward

or yet perhaps

to the betrothed of some

wordless embrace or,

that song unsung.

 

 

But then what more really,

were we ever meant to thirst?

 

Too bad sometimes,

the wondrous kites

that get to dance

with wind in flight

atop the waves

of floating sea

in bottles trapped

on gentle breeze

lose the hand

that held the tie

that once enabled

kiss from sky

I guess for never,

while stays.

 

Even dreams,

that drift away.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Aimee Mahathy]

Oh wow, this poem is so beautiful! I rarely read "long" poems, but this one kept me going on and on and on, until I realized I'd been scrolling for longer than usual.
I loved the images used in this, especially the kite. Your vocabulary is extensive and refreshing! It's amazing that you managed to sum up so much so perfectly in two simple lines.
Great write!

[jes]

i loved the use of 'I don't know'. it brought out the feeling of expression much better, since you had quite effusive and lush vocabulary lacing this write. the admission makes it feel more vulnerable and open. nicely done. [:

[Kerry O'Connor]

Love this image, among many:

he flight of an invisible kite
high up in the clouds
tethered by only a thread of trust
and some slippery, grip of faith

I like the way you show that being with someone special makes you see and hear the world in a new and wondrous way.
This is a gentle and affirming poem from you, Antonio. Much enjoyed.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Enjoyed the romantic touch of this one..I especially like the third stanza the first three lines.I am glad that I chose this one to read this morn..May your gift expand and touch on the lives of many in a positive way in the years to come..Your presence at my work was like a breath of cool breeze on a hot summer day...Sunflower...

[An owl on the moon]

Everything about this is simply magical, starting with the image! If we could all only catch a glimpse of that wonder in simple things. How true.. someone coming into your life and making everything seem so much more alive! Beautiful, profound poetry!

[Emily]

This is a wonderful dreamy piece. I like the way you've interwoven so many pieces of imagery into this. There is sorrow and loneliness -- and there is beauty and joy in all the little details of life. You've captured the love of these things so well.

My only suggestion is in this stanza,
"Like a smile, you can only read,
goose bumps from someone
you never even met,
or the flight of an invisible kite
high up in the clouds
tethered by only a thread of trust
and some slippery, grip of faith?

"goose bumps from someone
You've never even met"
I'd add in the you have never even met to make the beat of the sentence flow better, and to also make the sentence make a bit more sense. To say you never even met is awkward, and I find that it smoothes better to say you have never even met!

Well written!

[Tate Morgan]

Yours is a inquisitive and kindly soul that I think has talent and merit Bravo

[emmajoy]

This drifts thoughts into beautiful pictures, emotions bared. There's something about the movement of kites that tallies with the feeling of love, sweeping and sinking, floating and flying and, you've captured the essence of all that.

'I never felt how the tongue of tides ~ reached deep, inside ~ the mouths of rivers that empty yet, ~ in stride into the sea, ~ until I met you.'

This is a very beautiful poem, one to linger over like an exquisite feast.

[lindsay]

This is so amazing. I also rarely read long poems, but this one kept interested the entire time. I like your style of writing and I loved the image you put with the poem, it really ties it all together.

[The Analog Kid]

Antonio,

This is such a beautiful tapestry of emotions. You are really in touch with the human condition. Also, I did notice a touch of Shakesperean style. I thoroughly enjoyed this one brother!