There’s a ship in the mist of my heart that made it safe to harbor. When he holds me he can smell the salt in my hair; feel the damp in my bones. I let him touch me. His hands are warm; I imagine what they will look like one day, lined with time, patched with scars. He moves my hair out of my face so I can picture him perfectly: he stands at the helm. Sometimes I try to apologize, but he only kisses me and says, It’s been such a long trip, hasn’t it? (Hasn’t it…) There is wind between us, tides, and shells. Seaweed. Sand. There is time. A lot of it. His body. Mine. And our laughter like the moon that keeps drawing us back to the same place, over and over again.
Man, you really knocked the pacing out of the park with this one. How do you make the line length decisions? I noticed the style of this one was much different than the frog poem, and I think both work for each. Interestingly enough, this almost seems conversational or spoken to me (I can almost hear a voice other than my own while reading this), while the frog poem feels literary through and through. The last line is killer. It's natural, constant, and unchanging, the tides of ocean and the moon... If your guys' laughter is truly as consistent and serene as the tides, I'd say you're doing it right!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I never really think too much about the line length decisions. I just always stop the line where it .. read moreI never really think too much about the line length decisions. I just always stop the line where it feels natural to me. I read everything I write back over to myself out loud and if the line length makes me stumble, then I change it up -- same goes for rhythm or whatever. I am not professional enough to know where you're supposed to break a line :P
This has a wonderful feel to it...classic yet fresh to me. Well penned and incredibly creative with some of the strongest style I have ever seen, not just here.
Man, you really knocked the pacing out of the park with this one. How do you make the line length decisions? I noticed the style of this one was much different than the frog poem, and I think both work for each. Interestingly enough, this almost seems conversational or spoken to me (I can almost hear a voice other than my own while reading this), while the frog poem feels literary through and through. The last line is killer. It's natural, constant, and unchanging, the tides of ocean and the moon... If your guys' laughter is truly as consistent and serene as the tides, I'd say you're doing it right!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I never really think too much about the line length decisions. I just always stop the line where it .. read moreI never really think too much about the line length decisions. I just always stop the line where it feels natural to me. I read everything I write back over to myself out loud and if the line length makes me stumble, then I change it up -- same goes for rhythm or whatever. I am not professional enough to know where you're supposed to break a line :P
A very beautiful and romantic piece Katrina. I liked the imagery you used and the metaphor of the ship making it safe to the heart. This person who calms your seas is a keeper!! :D
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your kind review! This is one of my favorite pieces, inspired by my boyfriend who.. read moreThanks so much for your kind review! This is one of my favorite pieces, inspired by my boyfriend who loves sailing.
A gentle and patient melody of words lightly treading down the page.
You have a priceless quality of saying much with just a few words. Well done, dear poet.