Alanis Morissette

A very common question

From the common bourgeoisie, is

‘Who is your favourite recording artist

Of the 20^th century?’

 

It’s not The Rolling Stones

Though I do enjoy

Their elaborate stage set

No, my favourite recording artist of ALL TIME

Is Alanis Morissette

 

That took you by surprise

Why Alanis Morissette?

‘I thought the only good thing she did

Was ‘One Hand In My Pocket’’

 

Yes, those were the good old days

They’d line up at the till

To buy a copy of the Glen Ballard-produced

Jagged Little Pill

 

But then her fans disappeared

They moved on to the next big Boy-Ar-Dee

Some say many were frustrated

By the difficult lyrics and complex rhythms

Of her sophomore album

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

 

But, you fools!

That was her best album!

Can’t you see what she was trying to do?

Featuring tracks such as Sympathetic Character

And my favourite song, Thank U

It wasn’t music

This was art

But no,

You couldn’t handle it

You said--

‘Please, don’t challenge me Alanis

In fact, I’m going to split

I’ve found an even better band than you

I think they’re called Limp Bizkit’

 

So while you, the general public

Seemed content supping warm diarrhoea that the record companies fed you

I had to wait FOUR GODDAMN YEARS

For her 2002 follow-up, Under Rug Swept

Which I didn’t like very much

And also the 2004 album So Called Chaos

Which kinda sucked

 

But the point is Alanis

It was me who stuck by you

For all those years

In the wilderness

 

But I’ve found there’s more to life

Than this awfully sad lament

At least that’s what I thought

Until I bought her new record

Flavours Of Entanglement

I played it on repeat, for hours

Some brilliant compositions

I wish I hadn't bought ten copies

Cos then you brought out a 'Deluxe Edition'

With extra tracks

Man I hate that

Like,

Why didn't you reward your TRUE FANS who bought the record on the FIRST DAY OF RELEASE

You upset me

 

But now I’ve moved on

Thank U India and Amen

I promise to stop writing to you, Alanis

I’ll put down my green writing pen

Yes, Alanis, that's correct

No more love letters on papyrus

I've found an artist and musician who sings about things that matter to ME

Who won't let me down

Dear Miley Cyrus...

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

*SCREAM* NOT MILEY CYRUS!!!! anyone BUT!~

damn your wit is like a razor~ such subte sociological/human behaviour commentary spread like butter right between the rich buns of this delight of a write!~
I had a year there where all I listened to was Alainas and Joan Osborne~ my very angry feminist year~ lol I got over it~ and went back to good ol 70's punk ~

[Nik Dendera]

Haha! Laughed out loud at this! Genius!

In a way, though, it does remind me of myself-especially the bitching about what albums suck. (I did it recently with placebo's Battle for the Sun. Sounded far too much like what they'd already done!)

Really good stuff, funny and relevant. Excellent!

And of course, I agree with the comment below-that ending was perfect!

[Perfume]

Oh this was incredible! I'm a die-hard Alanis fan myself, and this made me laugh. You poked fun at so much here but kept it all very connected. The pace was brilliant and I adored every line.
Very well done!
And that ending! That was genius. Bravo! This may have just made my entire day. Really great work. :]