Lost Devotion

This is actually based of a real event in my life. Are you proud of me? My sister left my me and my other sister and my parents got a divorce.

Lost devotion in her eyes 

Leaves her sisters 

While they cry 

Once like silver 

Now like glass 

Gone all winter 

Glass is cracking 

Girls forgotten 

Parents fighting 

Family shattered

Anger crackling 

Heart in tatters 

Lost in shadows 

Trail of light 

The sisters followed 

New world sadder 

Then she calls them 

Cannot love her

Author's Note

Sorry the poem's such a mess.

Reviews

[Lina Grey]

This poem's not a mess. It's a beautifully crafted piece reflecting the pain which you were forced to endure, and it really is impressive. Depressing, hopeless, and deep, despite simplicity. Sad what one must brave through, despite the consequences and situations. You captured the concept very well. Thank you.

[Falling Leaf.]

The complications of family are always a difficult struggle. I applaud you for the way you can so gracefully and clearly organize your emotions and let them flow into this poem. I especially enjoyed the glass and silver metaphor. Well done!
~The Wilted Rose

[Michael X]

wow, this is powerful and well written, the formulated pattern of wording
is crafty and captures the passionate ambivalence of the tragedy, excellent

[....]

This write isn't a mess, it's nicely done.
I enjoyed this it's sad and touches one.

[lmagin]

**** stars outa 5

[Owlgirl]

1. The poem is not a mess
2. This was amazing!
Wow, you seemed to jump straight into the heart and out of the mind. This is an amazing poem that is so full of raw emotions, it is so complete and understanding. An amazing write.

[Aianarie (INACTIVE)]

It is a bit disorganized, but I believe that this poem captures true to life thought-processes under such circumstances. It's raw, and real.

[Amila Jay]

"Once like silver Now like glass Gone all winter" . That's tough. I'm sorry for what you had been through. A very sad write yet great poem :)

[Remember Courage]

This is a really sad poem that really describes your pains. I'm sorry for all of that. For you to have put it to words in you poetry is amazing. Well written and perfectly great. its not a mess
-Courage

[Celeste]

Wow, this is such a depressing poem. I'm terribly sorry about your family. I could feel the hurt and pain from your words. This was a nice read.

Keep writing!