Don't Say Goodbye

My princess was waiting on the balcony

Her hair falling down her back

She held my hands and asked how I was

Trying to lead me down a different track 

She enwrapped me in her cinnamon arms

Vanilla tears streaking down her face

Pressed her silk body against me

Seemingly only seperated by lace 

However, miles ran between us

Though not traveled yet 

My place in a desperate war

Away from her, was already set

In our few moments left 

I told her this was not goodbye

I would be back

And that was no lie

Our love is stronger

Than anyone can ever know 

We're stronger than any war

Because we will never let go

War is dark and violent

And heavy 

But we are bright and slow

And lovely

So hang on to that feeling

It will connect us, no matter how far I go

Don't say goodbye, just remember 

Together we will always grow

Author's Note

Inspired by memorial day, and the call by regina spektor

Sorry its bad and cheesy :(

Reviews

[absent]

Awww, this was so sad and powerful.

I do think that your rhythm could really use some work, though. One thing that would help would be to stick to a syllabe scheme like: duh-DUH, duh-DUH, duh-DUH.
"My PRINcess WAS waiTING on the BALconY" if that makes sense. Stick to that rhythm and don't deviate from it, you know?

That's my bit feedback. By the way, I LOVE Regina Spektor.

[Rhea752]

Thank you very much!!

[Peter H]

reminds me of "this is a dark time my love" by martin carter a famous poet in my country good write
:)

[Rhea752]

Thank you :)

[Johanna]

Beautiful!

[Rhea752]

Thank you :D

[Rahul]

Never say good bye this poem reminds me a song "never say never", well written once again and this time you did a great job, i appreciated this.
keep writing ;D

[Rhea752]

please tell me you're not a Justin Beiber fan :(

[Rahul]

lol...what...? i didn't get what you wanna ask ?

[Rhea752]

The song never say never was done by Justin Beiber. I kinda sorta hate him. lol

[Rahul]

Lol, i don't like and don't even like him...to me he's only a singer and i don't care who the hell's he but i love this song "Baby ohh baby".
i did like him since he was little and a good one but now a day's i don't know what's a matter's going to him...:P
i just liked his 3 to 4 songs only, the songs're that i like
Ist...Baby ohh baby
2nd...never say never
3rd...you should pick me,
4th...i'm your boyfriend

i don't like him, i just like his 4 songs only i don;t know even why...lol :)
so, your fav. singer's who ?
don't say it's me, if you say i'll kiss you on your forehead...lol :P

[Rhea752]

lolzies, my favorite singer is Billy Joel. Bit outdated, but hey, he rocks no matter what year it is.

[Rahul]

forsure, if "Rhea"'s saying then who the hell i am could reject this...lol :)
what Rhea says always appreciable to all humans except aliens...lol :P

[Jason White]

This is a pretty good poem. The rhythm or pacing is a little off in two or three places for my tastes which is the only thing that keeps it from being a great poem in my opinion. Imagery and concepts are well developed. Very well done.

[Rhea752]

Thanks :)

[Eileenws]

Very creative poem. Good job of a temporary break up because someone is going to war. I really like the last stanza. It sums it up. Eileen

[Rhea752]

Thank you :D

[Tai Ryens]

Reminds me faintly of Romeo &' Juliet, what with the distanced romance and the conflict between their sides. Although, I have the impression that your lovers have never met, but rather only admired each other from the tops of their cobblestone towers.

[Rhea752]

Thank you :)