The Observer

The Observer

A Story by rhall
"

I was sitting on this idea for a while before I got up the courage to write it down and even longer before I shared it. I hope you enjoy it even though it's still pretty rough.

"
There once was a girl who would sit and watch and listen to the world around her. She would yearn to see everything around here but it was impossible, there were too many things. So, one day she climbed a mountain so tall she could touch the clouds. Up there she could see the whole world and yet no one could see her. It was cold up on the mountain, so she built herself a tower all the way around. She realized that being so high up she couldn’t really see what was happening. so she built a telescope bigger than any ever built before. When she looked through it, she could see even the ants that scurried below. It was great seeing everything that was going on but it was nothing to her without sound so she built a hearing device that let her listen in on the tiniest heart beat. She was very happy then. She spent all her days watching and listening and writing down everything that happened. she did this for many years until she was an old woman. one day as she was looking through her telescope she saw something bizarre, something she had never seen before. she could not put into words what she was looking at. Then she did something very brave. she opened the door to her tower and set back down the mountain. when she reached the bottom. She found a world very different from what she knew. There was sound everywhere and people all around. It was like she had never seen them before even though she had watched them all her life. She decided to stay on the ground.

© 2016 rhall


Author's Note

rhall
I know it's pretty heavy on the telling with little to actually show. Any specific on how I can fix this would be really helpful.

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

129 Views
Added on February 24, 2016
Last Updated on February 24, 2016
Tags: Observation, short story, revise, edit

Author

rhall
rhall

centreville, VA



Writing
Time Time

A Poem by rhall


If Alice If Alice

A Poem by rhall