Invisible

New School, Same Type of Jerks and a crush

I may be born in this world but I feel no one knows who I am. In this world no one understands me. My foster parents always said stick out and be different but what if being myself makes me seem inhuman and I need to follow the crowd and be a sheep? What happens then? Will I stop being unique and starting acting like a programme locked in a human body but what happens if that is not what I want? What happens if I want to be me stuck inside my own body? What then? In this world I feel lost and unwanted because being different makes me not want to be myself. I want to be like the rest and all have one idea about life. What happens if I don’t belong here myself and I belong somewhere that you can be you. I ask myself questions looking up at the plain ceiling in my plain room. This is what I thought when we first moved into this world. Where did I belong, as no one here was like me?’ But that all changed, because even if you have different opinions you can still get along. That is what I learnt being friends with someone who I had nothing in common with. On the Friday of 11th Of November 2011, when I first joined the school, I was living a nightmare. I felt unwanted and I felt invisible in a world where everyone else mattered but I was no ‘everyone else’. I sank into the crowd and became a white paint on the wall, watching everyone else not notice me. In the distance of the cafeteria, I spotted a girl with blue beautiful eyes looking my way. And that when I found hope for myself again. Everywhere I went I felt her presence behind me or just somewhere I was going, but when I turned around she was gone. Next lesson came English. I hated this lesson but then I saw that girl with the beautiful blue eyes and her lush blond hair that went down to half the length of her arm. She was a dream that I wanted to become true. Something inside of me felt like it was wrong but I needed her but I couldn't let her come into my world of pain. She had a group of five friends behind her and I feel full of fear as her friends look at me and make spiteful comments as they are trying to whisper behind my back although I can hear them as clear as day. As soon as I started to stare that them her and her friends turned around back around and pretend as if they were not talking about me being the first new person that they had in the school for about two years. The girl of my dreams may turn out to be the girl of my nightmares…… 

The end of the day I survived but I still feel invisible and somehow I am glad that today no one knows who I was because then a bunch of pointless questions would have been asked and I would have to repeat myself probably what would feel like a thousand times. I just hope I find out her name I need to know what it is? The next two days I had my mind set on finding out her name I went spying on her for about two hours but her name between her and her friends never come up so I felt that my luck had run out but then reality hit me and by that I mean is her boyfriend and all through gym I was staring at her long blond hair. Back in the locker room I was beaten and bruised that I looked like a bag of cabbage. As I came out after all that the last words Liam shouted at me were ‘Never look at my girl again you piece of work and if you do I will make high school a living nightmare,’ I wanted to turn around and say but high school is a living nightmare and that you can’t make it any worse what then being the school hero and tough guy I thought I should shut up as I would not anything else to happen to me. I went straight to the nurse office where I was her again she was injured after gym class something must have happened when I was sent to the locker room by coach. It looked like she had broken her arm and she was in major pain so I thought I shouldn't say anything. The nurse asked what happened and I lied to her face as I was too much of a wimp to say that Liam and his friends had beaten me up. We sat there in silence until the nurse said that we can talk to each other. She started the conversation with by saying Hey I replied by nodding as I felt awkward being in a room with her after her boyfriend Liam punching me and staying stay away from her, that is what rung in my head and I looked in her deep blue eyes that made me feel sorry for her as Liam was lucky to have her and he acted like a d********g towards her and she didn’t realise that he was so bad as when he was with her he acted like a gentleman but after he was a real piece of s**t towards everyone and no cared at all. ‘Hey’, she smiled and said this all in chippy tone. ‘Hey’ I reacted quite positively as she felt so warm and I have not had that in a long time at that moment I felt loved again and the warmth of her made me bubble with joy like I was suppose to be in this world for once. She told me her name ‘Zoey’ and I told her mine ‘Alex’. The thought that popped in my head was this a beautiful girl with a beautiful name a bit cliche I know what it was true. And then I thought that I had meaning in this world and was not invisible. Zoey was a not a typical girl yep she was popular but there was more to her then meets the eye. Zoey was in the corridor with her friends and right beside her who Liam who encircled her about her broken arm and all her friends were all writing on her arm that said ‘get well soon.’ I looked in her direction and she looked back at me and then shyly I quickly looked away making no eye contact and the in the corner was her boyfriend Liam. I wanted to say get well so but then I felt a tension in my bones when I walked closer towards Zoey and her friends, I wanted to turn away and walk the other way but then I wanted to talk to Zoey. Zoey was heading towards the lunch hall I felt like a stalker and I was looking all over for her but I was think that I was crushing on her. Her boyfriend Liam was the one thing standing in my way and also I wanted to know if she liked me that. We had some lessons together like English and Biology and P.E but that was really it. Also we had a study session together and we had the same doctor for our injuries and we were off games together. From these little meetups, our friendship began to grow. Zoey really seemed to enjoy my company and likewise with me, I felt welcome when I came to school, I actually want to do come to school. After a while three years high school was a blast Zoey eventually went out with me after breaking up with Liam it went like this. I opened up to Zoey about my parents death and how I was a foster kid and the place I grow up in the was a dump. Zoey and I, I felt were meant to be and I loved her as much as she loved me. I felt over the moon, people said that we were the dream couple. I felt like I was in heaven every time I was with her. The reasons the broke up occurred between Liam and Zoey was because she finally realised what a douchebag he was and that he was the one that punched me and bronzed me. After that Liam was never a problem again and Zoey was the best person in my life and it felt amazing to have someone to love me and not looking like someone struggling to cling on for dear life anymore. I felt special and alive. Zoey was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Zoey was my real life Juliet and I her Romeo.