Chapter 1

This is just the first chapter. The second wont pick up immediately where this one left off, technically. Just read this one as an independent chapter and let me know what you think. Thanks.

 

Chapter 1

“Stand up slowly and turn around,” commanded a foreign male voice. I felt something hard and cold press against the back of my head.

“Dare,” I said, feeling my heart speed up. I glanced over at him in my peripheral, seeing him stiffen up as I did.

“It’s okay, Sam,” he reassured, focusing on each word as he spoke it.

“Shut your mouths and get up!” a second voice yelled. We both started to slowly get up. I felt the cold object move from the back of my head.

“Turn around,” the first voice said as we stood up straight. I slowly turned around, towards my left so I could catch Dare’s glance. We locked stares for a moment and I could see the rawness in his eyes. Mere moments ago they were soft, his low voice laughing at my cynical sneers towards the sadistic obstacles we keep being faced with. Now he seemed rigid, on the verge of exploding.

As we faced the intruders, I saw that the cold, hard object was a handgun, something I already assumed but didn’t want to accept. It looked like a Glock. The only important thing I could remember about Glocks in this moment is that they don’t have a safety. I think that’s right, at least. The increasing adrenaline and fear made it difficult to search back through the files in my memory. I noticed the man in front of Darrian also had a handgun, though I didn’t waste precious seconds trying to tell what kind it was. They didn’t have anything covering their faces, but the closest light pole was yards away from the dock, making their faces mere shadows. Then again, their faces, their identities, were fairly insignificant given the circumstance.

“Phones, keys, wallets, give me everything. Now,” the man in front of Dare said, tucking his gun in the back of his pants and holding his hands out. The man speaking pulled me back into reality out of my overly analytical state. It then occurred to me that all of that had taken place in one or two seconds. I suppose it’s true: time slows down when you’re filled with adrenaline.

I noticed my hands robotically moving to my pockets, pulling out my phone and keys. I remembered that Dare generally keeps a pocket knife concealed on him. I wonder if he does now. Not having one would be pretty damn ironic. I never understood why he always carried one. I know it’s for general protection, and also convenience, but Darrian is stocky and solid enough to handle himself against any reasonable threat one can imagine. Then again, the current threat, two armed strangers in the middle of the night, is not only unreasonable but also impossible to predict.

“Hurry up!” the one in front of me yelled. I set my phone and keys in the other man’s hand and I saw Dare hand over his keys, phone, and wallet.

“What, girl, you don’t have a wallet?” the second one questioned.

“It’s in my car,” I answered without actually deciding to. My voice sounded fairly calm, level. That was good. Their voices sounded…southern. They were your typical Caldwell County rednecks. What are two white rednecks doing robbing us at two in the morning on a Granite Falls dock?

“I’m sure it is,” the one in front of me sarcastically retorted. I saw his teeth as he cracked a grin. “I think I outta search you just in case though. You females hide things in all kinds of places.”

Dare took a step towards the first man, causing the stranger to spin towards him, pointing the gun directly at his face. “Did I say you could move, boy?” I could feel the tension in Darrian’s mind. I’ve always been able to read people, per se. His eyes seemed cold, though his mind felt scared.

The second man took a step back, remembering his current vulnerability, both hands occupied by our possessions.

Once again, I spoke before deciding to, sensing the immediate danger to Darrian, “You think you’re big because you and your brother-cousin have guns pointed at two unarmed people?” I regretted every word the moment it left my mouth. I already didn’t like the way the first man had looked at me. His eyes probing my person made my skin crawl.

His attention immediately left Darrian and focused intently on me. Mission accomplished.

“What did you say to me?” he snapped, his grin having vanished. Perhaps that’s what was suddenly in my throat. Before I could even think of all the millions of things I didn’t really have the balls to say, I felt his hand slash across my cheek. I’m not sure what that was supposed to accomplish. A loaded gun is more intimidating than a redneck comfortable with hitting a female, although I’ll admit he knows how to smack a girl.

As soon as my eyes reopened, my heart dropped as Darrian lunged for the first one. My heart felt like it was going to explode inside my chest. I had never been in a real fight in my entire life, and my best friend was throwing himself at an armed stranger. I saw the second one stuff his pockets with our belongings as Dare knocked the first one across his right eye. The second one then grabbed Dare from behind, throwing his arm around the front of his neck. My body followed my mouth in moving without my consent, though this time I was grateful.

I grabbed the back of the second man’s shirt, fisting my hand in it and bringing my other around to grab him by his throat. However, the first one recovered faster than I predicted and grabbed a fistful of my hair as well as my right shoulder, slamming me into the dock. “I’ll teach you not to run your mouth, b***h,” he spat, digging his knee into my back.

“Don’t touch her!” Darian yelled. I felt him get thrown down too, which was surprising considering he’s over six feet tall and neither of these inbred pieces of trash came close to six feet.

“Oh, I’m going to touch her alright. I’m going to teach her right now not to disrespect a man,” the first one eagerly claimed, moving his knee across my back to the ground and grabbing my shoulder. It suddenly occurred to me exactly what was happening. This man intended to rape me. I felt my heart beating faster than my blood could move, and it seemed I just couldn’t get enough air to my lungs. He jerked me over, tucking his gun in the same place the other one did. I felt myself make a fist again and put all the force I could from this position into slamming it into his cheek. He almost fell off of me but threw his hand out to remain upright. I started to sit up but he reflexively shoved me back down and pinned my hands.

“I’ll kill you!” Dare screamed, elbowing his banjo-picker in the jaw. I saw Darrian spin on him, pinning him down.

The man on top of me snapped his head around and one of his hands started for his gun. I jerked my other hand free and snapped upright, feeling grateful for my ex-Marine uncle as I used my right thigh to push him over. With his right hand still going for his piece, it became pinned under his back as I slammed my fist into his cheek again, this time with much more force.

Darrian must have redirected his focus to me because I heard another slam against the wood. We were going to fall through this old thing before we were finished here. I instinctively snapped my head around and saw the other man pull out his gun.

Everything that happened next was all one big blur in the moment, though I still felt as though in this moment time had slowed to a creeping crawl. One minute I was on top of the first man and the next I was jumping at the second. I tackled him off Darrian, seeing the gun slide down the dock, noting that it didn’t slide into the water. My hands immediately found position on his head and then I heard the snap. Everything was happening faster than I could process and before I knew it, I had killed a man. His body lay in front of me, lifeless and still. His expression seemed utterly confused but at the same time empty. I had taken another human’s life, something that could never be undone. I had just erased this person from the world. Suddenly, I remembered the other man. My glance shot to the gun down the dock and I threw my body towards it, wrapping my fingers around the grip.

I was just starting to rise up when I heard a loud crack. In almost the same moment, it felt like someone lit my back on fire. I dismissed the strange burning and spun around, quickly putting aim on the man whose gun was shifting focus to Dare, who was about to lunge at the first man. I pulled the trigger the minute the sights lined up and saw the blood and brain matter spray as he followed it, falling backwards on the dock and dropping his gun.

For a moment I just remained still, one knee against the dock and the other drawn to my chest, gun still pointed where the man was crouched in a similar position. I shot him directly in the head. In mere seconds, I had played God again. I just removed an entire person from our world. There was no chance of him getting back up. He was gone, and nothing in this lifetime would bring him back. I suddenly wondered if he had a family, a mother who would worry when he wasn’t home in the morning, or a brother who would be waiting up later today, disappointed without the promised company of his best friend. Seeing him shift, beginning to move towards me, I turned my attention to Dare, loosening my stiff grip on the gun. I couldn’t separate the thoughts rushing through my mind now. I had always known if I needed to, I could do it…kill someone. But assuming you have the guts to and actually doing it have two different effects on the mind. I took two lives to save two others. I found myself thinking, ‘What did I just do?’

My mind split my attention between Darrian coming towards me and that burning sensation I had previously dismissed that was only getting worse. I felt my left arm start to go numb and I dropped the gun. My shirt felt wet, which was strange considering my back was burning. Then it all fell together. He shot me.

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay, Sam,” Dare stammered, his voice cracking when he got to my name. I felt his arms go around me just as I began to lose control of my body. He guided my body down and I saw him looking for an exit wound. I noticed the front of my shirt was wet too and the burning had spread to my entire upper body. I tried to bring my hand up to find the hole but my arms weren’t responding. First my body acts without my permission, now it ignores me when I try to direct it.

Dare ripped my shirt at the hole and removed his own over shirt. He bundled it up and pushed it against the exit point. “He shot me,” I said, hoping an aloud acceptance would force my brain to process all that had just occurred.

“I know, but it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay,” Dare quickly assured, though I’m not sure if he was assuring me or himself.

“Our phones, they’re in his pockets. You can call for help,” I said. My entire back was wet now and most of my chest was too. Upon finishing my suggestion, I got choked on something wet. I involuntarily coughed, trying to clear my throat, and saw blood spray onto his shirt. The bullet had gone through my left lung.

I’m going to die.

Dare looked down at his shirt and murmured something I couldn’t make out. I felt kind of lightheaded. I let my head fall a little to the side and noticed a pool of blood invading the dock around me. Darrian ran to the second man and searched his pockets, realizing what little time we had to salvage the mess I was in. He pulled out one of them, fumbled with it for a second, and threw it across the dock. “It’s broken!” he yelled, frantically checking his other pocket only to find another cracked and unresponsive screen. “Damnit!!” he yelled again.

I got choked on another breath and coughed up more blood. I felt some slide down the corner of my mouth. He must have really got it because my lungs were filling fast. “Darrian,” I choked out. He ran back over to me, crouching at my side and pressing on his over shirt again. “Looks like I really did it this time.” My instinct response to anything unpleasant is to ease the mood with humor. However, I don’t think a joke will help this situation pass.

“You’re going to be fine, Sam. You have to be,” he argued, his voice quivering. I saw that his eyes had become soft again but not like before. They seemed dark and vulnerable now. I couldn’t feel anything other than my face now, and I could hear the blood dripping off the dock into the water. “We have to get you to the car so we can go get help,” he said starting to slide his arm under me.

“I think we both know the nearest hospital is a good forty minutes away, Dare,” I admitted. I’m going to die on this dock. After everything, I’m going to die right here, choking on my own blood. I’m seventeen years old. I live in a little redneck county that’s greatest accomplishment is being included as a priority location for most successful business chains.

“Then tell me what to do. Sam, you have to tell me what to do. How do I fix this?” Darrian pleaded, starting to actually cry, something he claims to have not done since age eight. He tried to lift me up, but I choked again and sprayed blood. I started to feel kind of lightheaded and my whole body was feeling cold now.

“I think I really am a little too broken this time, sweetheart. But you can do me a huge favor,” I offered, trying to distract his mind from the immediate crisis that neither of us could do a thing about.

“Anything, what do you need?” he quickly affirmed.

“Tell Jack that I forgive him, and that I still love him,” I directed, starting to tear up myself.

Dare kind of looked down for a moment, and then looked back up with a certain sadness in his eyes, “Of course, babe.”

It had always felt strange but comforting when Dare used pet names for me. We have never been anything beyond best friends, but we just had that little connection that went beyond friendship but lacked romance.

My eyes felt heavy and I coughed again, only this time my throat didn’t clear. I kept coughing and spitting up more blood but I couldn’t clear my airways this time. My lung is filling up. It’s happening. I’m about to be erased from the world now. In mere minutes I will no longer exist and be nothing more than a mere memory. I looked at the moon, trying to ignore the cold, numbness that had overtaken my body. It’s funny how minutes ago time seemed to go by so slow, seconds seemed like minutes. But now, it seems like every minute is a mere second, and I’m fading entirely too fast.

“Sam, just hold on, okay? Breathe,” he pleaded, pushing my hair back and wiping the blood trail from my mouth. I caught glimpse of the moon, shining down over us. It was a full moon tonight and it looked so pretty. I’ve always enjoyed looking at the moon, especially on those special nights when it’s red for a little while and then transitions to yellow and then white again. “Sam?” I heard Dare call, but his voice seemed distant now. The moon really isn’t white when you look at it. It’s actually kind of silver. The stars are the real whites in the sky. I’ll miss the moon. I wonder if it will miss me. I wonder if anyone will miss me. After death, we all become memories that are too often forgotten, put on a shelf that is rarely even dusted.

Suddenly I wasn’t looking at the moon anymore. Everything was just kind of black. I wonder how many stars exploded somewhere in the galaxy tonight. They say there are more than one-hundred seventy billion galaxies filled with stars, stretching to over 13.8 billion light-years away. I have always wanted to be an aerospace engineer. Study the galaxy and the stars. I’ve always wanted to see a star up close…

Author's Note

Like I said, if it's not your cup of tea then don't read it. However, I would love some feedback and some advice for improvements. Let me know what I should do to make it more intriguing or anything needed for an overall improvement. Thanks!

Reviews

[StefanC]

An action packed start!

I enjoyed the plot line and the situation itself is rich and quite vivid for the reader. My only pointer would be that I didn't feel there was enough emotional, personal detail. For example when the main character kills someone there's no mention of how she feels about it. The adrenaline etc. and no mention of fear, acceptance or anything like that when she's dying.

Still, I'm intrigued as to what happens next and that's the main point of your first chapter so great work there.

It's a really good start, in my opinion it could made better with an extra helping of detail here and there.
All in all good work.