Broken Manifesto of an Irrelevant Android

A Poem by Cahjli Symes

Dust clouds on a warm day.
Cold date,
feel the rain dropping on my skin
sinking like it's too late.

For today.
Every time,
every hour.
Nostalgia in my head,
as my emotions turn sour.

In a park on a cold day
crying for a clean slate.
Asking what's wrong?
Even though it's too late.

Never appreciated
for the blunt lines
that were crossed.
With a knife in the heart
and a dagger in my back.

Bleeding near a river.
Now I question where
you're at?

Your love was just a ruse
and you made me feel like scat.

Cause I'm just a clingy boy
that's been used like a toy,
just to look for my joy
in the pride in your eyes

As I'm left in the dark
and trapped in the past,
knowing nothing last forever
but I'm feeling so damn trapped.

Feeling numb from the fun,
from the past just to cum.
Now I'm buried in the earth
while I'm eaten by these worms.

Just for fun.

What I want to do is just run.

No one to fight.
No where to hide,
but now my options
are to be hung.

No I can't deny
I will not lie,
just to save your feelings
inside.

You used me then,
can't trust you now.
Still fucked up how?
I'm tired.

Of the bullshit
I cannot quit,
as I'm full of wires
inside.

Deep in my skin,
I'm drowning full of
sin.

Yet I'm stuck within
A bloody pool,
while I ponder you
on my mind.

No more suicide.
That life's behind.
Would you have ever died
for me?

Another white lie.
From your blue eyes
and your blonde hair,
I can see.

Had no support
felt no love
but pain and
agony.

Victory to defeat,
with my bloody feet
on this hot road.
But your so cold
to me.

Cut me up to make me bleed.
Don't give me your pity.
I'm trying to cleanse my soul
can you see?

I know I don't exist,
yet I can't resist
the thoughts of you and
me.

Pull your gun out
put it to my head,
in between my eyes
so I can bleed you out
my thoughts.

I'm hurt but there's no
scars.
Are you really who you are?
Why did we even go so far?

No matter what I say
no one's to blame,
but I don't want to go insane.
Microchip inside my brain.

Blood on your tongue
but no taste.

I know I am

a mistake.
The person you love

to hate.

Cause I told the truth,
to expose your lies
and expose my colors
tonight.

This room is empty,
yet bright.
In a deep sleep
from the dusk.

Awaken from the dawn
Yet I felt a

bond
nonexistent.

I regret being persistent.

I regret saying I care.

So stupid to believe
in someone.

I'll never trust
again.

I'll never trust in a
friend.

I'll never put faith
in a lover.

Cause your voice
still haunts inside
me..

I'm so f*****g confused
Just kill me.

Cause death's another
life.
And my soul thrives
in a void.

No one to see
or avoid.

Simple energy,
That I rather be.
Than in a cold