The Owl of Minerva

An odd story about an all knowing owl.

One day a beautiful Owl flew down and landed on a fencepost that separated a large park from the sidewalk. This Owl had lovely dark brown feathers and was perhaps the largest flying bird that people had ever seen. It sat there for two days and nights before people became concerned that it was hurt and called for animal patrol to capture and release the bird. They believed this because during that whole time it had not moved a single degree and had never been seen to blink. When animal patrol arrived, they beheld the massive bird with its great splendor and hesitated before approaching it. A normal net didn’t suffice to capture the large bird so they had brought a medium sized cage that was typically used to return wolves which had strayed too far from their pack back into the wild. As they neared, the Owl stayed just as stone as it had previously. They reached a space within five feet of it before they suddenly heard a deep brassy voice say in perfectly eloquent English, “Do not seek to tame me, for I am the being of infinite wisdom. Capturing me would be a great disservice to both you and mankind.”

Animal patrol felt repulsed by the idea of treating such a majestic beast so badly, even if it only mimicked speech, and decided that the Owl would stay. There was a general buzz around the city of an Owl who thought it was a parrot and this naturally drew some gawkers. However, when anyone approached the Owl, they felt a great sense of awe and knew that they would never touch the Owl, regardless of their overwhelming desire. After an additional two days, a man decided to try and speak to the Owl, which had remained quiet since the incident with animal control. The man asked the Owl what it was and it repeated that it was a being of infinite wisdom. The man tried to test the Owl by asking it a series of riddles. The Owl answered in confusing language that was not the correct answer to the riddle, but seemed more right to the man than the answers which he had expected. He left with a great sense of deference and decided that he would ponder these riddles in more depth.

Quickly word spread of the Owl’s deep intelligence and wisdom. Soon people came to seek the Owl’s wisdom for various banalities. Initially people shirked the Owl’s advice. One woman asked, for example, how she should decorate her house. The Owl responded, “Order your house in the method of your garden. You must reconnect with nature and that requires that you should bring a small layer of topsoil and place it in your nightstand’s drawer.” This was clearly preposterous advice and the women chose not only to ignore it, but to tell her friends of the Owl’s foolishness. This persisted for four days after the Owl’s appearance.

On day five, a man came to the Owl and asked how he could become wealthy. This man was in desperate straits and would surely lose his home and could have custody of his children revoked. He had gone to the Owl out of complete desperation. He had authentic intentions, and it was widely speculated that the Owl selected him rather than the other way around. He asked the Owl how he could be a wealthy man. The Owl replied, “You must give up your possessions. They bind you to this world and shackle you to your ignorance. Once you are free of them you will see the path to wealth quickly and money will return to you as quickly as it flees now.” This advice, counterintuitive, was adhered to absolutely by the man. He sold his house and all his possessions that were not immediate to his survival. He relinquished control of his children, the hardest challenge. He sat destitute on the opposite end of the park. 

As he sat there, he tried to focus on his virtue and maintained a demeanor of absolute calm. As happens occasionally, an eccentric man was looking for a way to cure his boredom. He desired to walk in the park, when he stumbled across the man. The eccentric man asked the destitute why he sat there in absolute poverty. The virtuous man said, “I follow the advice of the wise Owl, he taught me that wealth is a trapping that should be avoided at all costs.” The eccentric man thought this was a novel idea. He asked the virtuous whether he would accept a hundred dollars, which the eccentric would give to him at this moment. The virtuous man repeated his sentiment. Perturbed, but not to be dissuaded, the eccentric offered him a thousand dollars. The man who had lost it all, again politely refused. The eccentric man was getting really peeved at this point. He declared, “I shall give you ten thousand dollars at this moment if you get up and refuse the Owl.” The man was not so easily moved from the path of virtue. The eccentric was really quite wealthy, but he was absolutely furious at this point. He left the virtuous to his meditation and returned home. He found everything of value and pawned it, placing the money he gained into an account under the virtuous’s name. He then transferred all the money from his own account into that of the virtuous. He finally took the deed to his house and returned to the park. He shouted, “You find this life of vagrancy so good, then I must try it myself!” He then told the virtuous that all that he possessed would be his, if only the virtuous would stand up. The virtuous heard the Owl’s voice again. The Owl said, “You have done well in following my wisdom. As you can see, you will now be a wealthy man and have the ability to gain back what you had over a hundredfold. Claim your prize and you will fulfill my prophecy.” The now wealthy man stood up, leaving the eccentric penniless. He proceeded to tell all of how the Owl was a prophet and he continued to pray to the Owl for the rest of his life.

This amazing story of success set a fire in the city. Soon people would line up in droves to see the Owl and hear its words of wisdom. One man asked how he could achieve marital bliss. The Owl told him, “Life is not a game which one can play by being safe, you must face your greatest fear by conquering death. Bury yourself for two days with only enough breath to survive and you will find the answer to your question.” The man was hesitant, but believed in the miracle of the Owl. He did as he was told, without telling anyone. Just when he approached the point of asphyxiation, he was rescued but not before his wife knew how much he meant to her and he realized that he had been avoiding the problems of their relationship. They remained happily inseparable. 

Another woman asked the Owl how she could become a great artist. The Owl told her, “Art is merely the method of seeing normal life in a unique way. Sit on this bench to my right for four days, without moving, and you will find you can appreciate all the common beauty you take for granted.” The woman suffered through days of harsh weather. She grew hungry, thirsty, and fatigued. She searched everywhere for some subtle clue of what the beauty that the Owl had spoken of represented. At first, she thought the Owl was the key. But it sat as still as it always did. She reflected that this Owl had endured what she had for many days without pause, but continued to sit on its fence without complaint. This granted her great strength for she could tell that the Owl was no common fortune teller, but was committed to the very acts which it suggested to others. At the end of the fourth day, she could no longer stay awake and faded into an uncomfortable and restless sleep. When she awoke, it was just a few minutes before dawn. As the dawn broke, she finally recognized the beauty that she had never been able to picture before. She suddenly saw all the common things that she had taken as mere trash, and she was able to depict them in her own beautiful way as she now saw them.

This continued for weeks. People came to the Owl and it would answer in its inexplicable wisdom. People around the city found all their desires fulfilled and even those who asked nothing of it could rejoice in the great joy that it brought to others. The Owl was like a miracle worker. Everything it said came true, and soon few doubted the Owl’s ability to grant them their true wishes. The Owl, for its part, continued to sit on the fence without any movement whatsoever. In not an overly long time at all, people started to believe the Owl was a god and planned holidays and events around its magnificence. The park was declared a religious site. No person had ever seen a more beautifully maintained area and the workers always labored hard and with reverence. They took care to avoid disturbing the Owl. Whenever someone asked the Owl about its thoughts on these happenings, it answered in its usual esoteric way.

The line to speak with the Owl grew daily. Some people were still skeptical and some openly implied that the Owl was no wise being at all, but some publicity stunt. They suggested that all the people who gained from its wisdom were paid actors or something of the sort. When confronted with these allegations, the Owl gave no response.

On the thirty-ninth day, the Owl projected its voice much further than anyone had ever known it to do. The Owl claimed, “Those who have gained wisdom from me, you shall know the further fruits of philosophizing with the being of infinite wisdom.” Everyone got very excited at this proclamation. The Owl never gave false prophecies and the fact that it had so publicly announced its intention to reward the faithful was a sure sign of great bounties to come. It was declared that all the city was obligated to meet at the post the next day for a celebration of the Owl and all the good its wisdom had brought to the people. 

The celebration was a great success. People gathered and amused themselves by comparing their gains from the great wisdom of the Owl. Some decided to wear Owl masks as a matter of reverie for all that they had been granted. Great banquents were served by those who head been taught the art of cooking, music was played by those who had found new life in their fingers and voices, paintings and photos commemorating the event were skillfully made by those blessed with true sight. Of course, this was all granted freely by those who had learned to do without wealth in order to gain perspective on its true value. Meanwhile, the Owl sat silently. Even when people approached it and attempted to speak with it, there was no response. As the celebration was winding down and being properly cleaned in the strict ordinances of the park, people began to depart. The last man to leave was the once destitute, then virtuous, now wealthy and happy man. He stayed until dusk had nearly approached, but it began to rain. As he was leaving, he looked at the Owl one last time. If it were not for the rain, he would have sworn that he saw a single tear spring forth from the Owl.

Some people were now early risers, as they had been instructed to do by the Owl. There was a great wooshing noise which spread throughout the city, and which woke everyone else. People ran to their windows, and everyone swore they saw the same thing. The Owl, with its gargantuan wingspan, soared through the city at great speeds. It reached the edge of the city and, according to eyewitnesses, vanished at the moment it reached the boundary. 

Later that same day, the now wealthy man died. His home caught fire through a gas leak and all his possessions, including his children and life, were suddenly nothing but ash. That night, the man who had rekindled his relationship with his wife had a robber break into his house. This robber became a killer that night. The painter was hunted down by the dissenters, who no longer feared retribution by the Owl, and was executed for making portraits with satanic inspiration. Similar events happened to people all across the city who had sought the wisdom of the Owl. Not all resulted in deaths, but many were deprived of their deepest desires and felt themselves to be worse off than they were before. 

Outraged by this rash string of poor fortune and wanton chaos, the citizens assembled to return to the place formerly inhabited by the Owl. They found little trace of it there. No feathers, droppings, or talon marks. One man slipped in some water that still remained from the rain and landed on his back. He looked up at the post and noticed that on the backside, there was a small but precise engraving. Everyone gathered around to read it. And it said, 

Search and Want for Nothing for You Shan’t Find It

This is The End of History and Eternity

I am the Being of Infinite Wisdom 

I Have but One Thing to Say

We are Damned

Author's Note

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