A Dangerous Affair Chapter 60

Stephanie is desperate to get out of hospital

Stephanie was desperate to get out of that hospital! Not only was she bored to tears but ever since Tom had admitted that he had ‘messed up big time’ she had been forced to endure what seemed like every waking moment with him in the small hospital room. Okay, he had left her a few times for the doctors to perform their checks, however just when she thought that he’d gone home and she might get a few minutes peace to think, he had turned up again. Not that she wasn’t pleased to see him, in fact she had been overcome with relief that he hadn’t taken that flight to Ireland, but now that he was back he seemed hell bent on making things up to her. She was at a loss to understand why; there was nothing for him to make up for. Nonetheless, he had popped out and returned with the largest bouquet of flowers, the most indulgent box of chocolates and all number of other peace offerings. She had assumed that was what they were as it wasn’t usually his way to shower her with gifts. And every time he had opened the door, peace offering in hand, he had a look on his face as if he was extremely proud and impressed with himself. Still, in the end she wasn’t sure if he was actually thinking of her or if he’d set himself the challenge of excelling everyone else in the gifts department.

Even worse was that Tom had absolutely no regard for hospital rules and regulations. He would barge into her room whenever he felt like it, it didn’t matter who else was visiting or if the hospital allowed visitors at that time or not. She was certain that he had either bribed or managed to sweet talk the nurse into letting him in so often. Then there was the issue of personal space; he didn’t let her have any. He would stride straight up to her bed and settle himself on the edge only to nudge her over moments later, kicking off his shoes and swinging his feet up. This turned into a routine to the extent that after the first couple of times she simply gave up and moved across the bed when she saw him coming. Then there would follow a period during which he would play doctor, announcing that he had to check her all over for any signs of a relapse. He’d try his hardest to get under her covers, she’d scold him and threaten to call the nurse so he’d reconsider, turn on the TV and he was there for the duration!

She had to admit though at times he was quite sweet but what she really needed was time to collect her thoughts. In the space of only a couple of days she’d gone from him returning to Ireland for good, to thinking that he was dead, to having Brick announce that he was missing and then this! She didn’t know what she wanted anymore, jobwise or Tomwise. And Brick wasn’t much help either. He’d insisted that she take more time off work than she really wanted to; getting back to everyday life would have been a relief, and not only that but he seemed to be so uncharacteristically disillusioned with the newspaper lately. Tom wasn’t any better. Just the mention of work would bring back that anxious look and send him out on another mission for flowers and chocolates! What the hell was going on?

Then finally came the day that she had been waiting for; freedom from the emotional turmoil that had summed up the time she had been forced to spend in the hospital. Tom had insisted on picking her up, although she wondered how on earth he had managed to talk everyone else into allowing him the privilege. Not that she was bothered really who took her home, she just wanted to get there, but between her father and Brick who had spent the last few days fussing over her unbearably, she was surprised that they had given in to Tom so easily.

Tom and Stephanie spent most of the journey back to her house in silence. However, once they had arrived and she had let them in, Tom sat down on the sofa, picked up a newspaper and began to natter on incessantly about nothing in particular. He seemed agitated about something, even anxious, but Stephanie was beyond trying to figure out his odd behaviour since he had turned up at the hospital days before. She was tired and she wanted time to herself. She found herself wandering into the kitchen, leaving him in the lounge prattling on about the rate of inflation and the dumb headline stories in British newspapers.

She slid onto a kitchen chair and gazed out of the window, contemplating the current state of her life. She had been shot. She hadn’t really had time to dwell on the fact until then, firstly because she had been out of her mind with concern for Tom, and secondly because of the constant stream of people who had visited her in the hospital. But now she was faced with the reality of it. Would her life have amounted to all that she’d hoped for if she had died by that lake? For the past god know how many years she had dedicated herself to her job and she had thought that it made her happy but now she wasn’t so sure. But what would she do if she gave up the newspaper? It wasn’t as if she didn’t have other options but that work had become such a huge part of her life that she didn’t really know how to go forward without it. She had lost touch with many of her old friends, most of whom had married and got families of their own now anyway. What was she going to do? As she sat there she tried to picture her life without the newspaper but she saw a big empty nothing. And yet conversely she also had a disturbingly dismal picture of a future if she stayed.

“Stephie, what’s wrong?” Tom was standing at the kitchen door, staring at her with an odd expression. She hadn’t even realised that she’d been crying until she looked down and felt the dampness on her hands which were clenched on the kitchen table. She looked across at Tom briefly and then turned to stared back out of the window. She was too tired to talk and yet the tears continued to flow. Tom approached her hesitantly and took a seat next to her, completely at a loss what to say or do. She sat there in total silence with tears pouring out of her eyes.
“Say something Stephie. For god sake rant and rave and tell me I’m a b*****d but say something.”
She swung her head to him suddenly then. “Damn it Tom, for the last time it wasn’t your fault that I got shot so will you stop with the guilt thing because it’s driving me round the bend!”
He looked taken aback then and there was a momentary flicker of pain across his face before he checked himself and his eyes turned cold and emotionless. She felt utterly wretched, with herself, with him and with the world in general. Standing up suddenly she moved away from him to the window and put her arms around herself, attempting to take away the awful aching, empty feeling inside of her. He wanted more than anything to go to her then but he had the feeling that being there was only making matters worse. That hurt him too. In fact he could never have imagined feeling the kind of hurt he’d experienced over the last couple of days but he had to put Stephie first now and she most obviously didn’t want him there. He stood to leave and she saw him move to the door from the corner of her eyes.
“Tom…”
He paused and turned. He could see her body shaking as she tried to hold in her sobs.
“Tom, will you just tell me that everything is going to be all right and make me believe it?”
She was sobbing now in earnest and it was all the encouragement he needed. Walking up to her he turned her around and pulled her to him. He held her tightly around the waist with one arm whilst the other moved up her back and held her head against his shoulder. She moved her head slightly and buried her face in his neck, holding onto his shirt as if her life depended on it.

“Hey look Stephie, what happened to you, what happened to us both, it was pants! Big time!I’m talking major huge pants going on here…”
She let out a cross between a sob and a laugh.
“…but we can figure things out. Maybe things are changing, maybe that’s not a bad thing, maybe we’ve diced with death enough for one lifetime. I dunno. But we can sit down and talk about this another time because what I do know is that you’ve had one hell of a shock to your system and you can’t deal with everything all at once.” He put his hands around her face and lifted her head up to look at her. Her eyes darted away as she tried to control the tears and he sighed, pulling her back to him and kissing her face. “It will be all right Stephie. I’m gonna make sure of that,” he whispered. “You do believe me, don’t you?” He pulled back slightly to look at her reaction. She nodded her head and he smiled encouragingly.

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

I just love how they grredd to work on this story in the begining because all these events have eld them closer together and i love Steph's character delvelopment on how she's opening up more to tom. ^^