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Maybe it’s you who’s choking me

Causing me to feel with every breath

That I’m going to cough up a part of me

A part I rightfully deserve

Your words stuck in my windpipe

Embedded in my lungs

Like the residue of a bad habit

 

If I die from suffocation

You’ll stand by my body and smile

Knowing that I am in a better place

That I’m in hell.

 

If I let you beat me

And not stand up for what I believe

Am I a failure in your eyes?

A failure for you to control

An effigy just like you became

I’m sick of this game

 

I want to be free from your grasp

I want you to let go of the past

And see who I’ve turned out to be

I want you to respect me

 

I want all the things just out of reach

I want to tell people I love them

I want to be allowed to live as myself

I want to express myself to the fullest

To leave the unfinished puzzle you think my life is

Lying on the table in a room

Where you can’t change it

 

My life is not a roadmap

Of predetermined exits to adulthood boulevard

My words aren’t meaningless

My heart isn’t tainted like yours

My hands may have slapped your face

But my words are in their place

 

Do you expect me to be happy

When I’m held captive in the house I should call home

A prison where I prefer to be alone

I want to be more independent; on my own

 

I want you to respect me

I want you to open your eyes and finally realize

I don’t enjoy being held under your wing

If you tell yourself over and over

That I will never fly solo

 

The whispers in my head of childhood memories

As long as I was cute you were good to me

As long as I adored you, you loved me

But maybe now it’s you who’s choking me.

 

Reviews

[Mark D. Chevalier]

...Oh..excuse me...I just had a flashback to my home years after reading this poem.
There was, sincerely, a depth of emotion that I could identify with. Everything was versed well, and kept me moving down the page. I especially liked "I want to be free from your grasp, I want you to let go of the past, And see who I've turned out to be."
I myself left home early, and have never looked back since.
Excellent poetry!
M