Hindsight

The whole awkward crush on the best friend thing. It happens.

Do you ever see me as a girl

Wonder in your mind on the phone

During those long awkward silences

When I don’t know what to say to you

And the quiet hush-whisper breaths take over

While the world outside stands still

And my tired mind rests at your will

Heart standing still, afraid of being a lover

While I know yours does too (but not the same)

Newly awakened to the world’s violences

Until you ask my end if you’re alone

Do you ever see me as a girl?

 

Do you ever see me as a girl

Who avoids your stare by faulty thought

Wish I’d smile and laugh with you

When I turn away, disappointed, ashamed

Soft voice asking if you’re okay

And I turn and walk, eyes down

Wish to be out of this town

As I step in a puddle from yesterday

Any faith I had in you was maimed

If only to heal when thought through

For peace, love and understanding we’ve fought

Do you ever see me as a girl?

 

Do you ever see me as a girl

Notice when my sorrow appears

And the light in my eyes fades

When concerned and guilty looks begin

To understand your pain again

To empathize as fully as before

Wishing again I could do more

Once more be called your friend

Argue with myself and win

So lonely without you in my days

Can you push aside my fears

Do you ever see me as a girl?