music

kind of had a realization about how I feel when I listen to music its like a support to me something that helps me keep my mask

Well I sort of realized today that when I listen to music its a release. I cant help but feel like all of my stress and problems are gone. They're off in a different world, my mind just starts to drift. It never really matters to me what genre it is or who its by -if it fits my mood or the lyrics mean something I will listen. I never really thought about it but if ii cant listen to music when im on the edge of breaking then I would have gotten hurt a long time ago. It calms me, im actually a very sensitive person but when I get angry I can get violent and ill hurt myself. I know I shouldn't do it so ill go to my playlist and play some classical and ill mellow out. The acoustic will be perfect when I need someone by me but they aren't there. There were many times I wished I could sing better or play guitar/ piano but they weren't meant for me it just never stuck with me. I write music myself its nothing I think is worthy of other peoples ears but I put my heart and sole into it. Music just speaks to me better than any person could. Words don't get my point across, mentally im just torn to shreds but physically you would never notice im dying. I cry for hours about stupid things and the music lifts me up from the dark depression the constant pressure on me. I not alone I know it -I don't want sympathy I just want a way out a way to stop feeling sorry for myself pull it together. Stop every tear that's ever fallen for someone who doesn't deserve it.

Author's Note

(this turns into more of a rant at the end but the first half does truly get my point across)