Seeking

The life of a faithful in fifteen lines.

All the world has gone mad, thought I,
Nestled away from what I would shun.
Directly came then a Word from on High:
Thy will is weak. My Will be done.
(Holy went seeking but found no higher.)
Even flawed and broken, thought I,
May be used to spread His Light.
Expanding my faith, exposing His Might,
Evangelizing far and nigh.
(Kindness went seeking but found no hire.)
Soon my doubts would interfere.
Helpless, I prayed for an aha
And suddenly, the answer became clear:
Live humbly the loving life I ought.
(Love went seeking but found no high.)

This poem can be found in A Box of Gold.

Author's Note

My first (and so far last) compound-acrostic. I do plan to write more in this form. It was fun but very challenging.

Reviews

[James Hanna-Magill]

Dear Renée

Thank you for your review of one of my poems and above all welcome to Writers Café . I have been on this site a couple of months.

The writing site I was on previously closed and in searching for another, I eventually found this to be the best to pitch my writing tent. I hope you enjoy your time here. The best way to get reviewed is to review.

What I am doing here proves the rule.

I can review in a number of ways, but my reviews can often be long and in detail.

I think in this case I shall just make a series of numbered comments.

1) Compound acrostic in form:The first and most important point is that you have managed so well in form to accomplish with consummate ease a compound acrostic - the mix of acrostic and telestich some times also referred to as Acrosteleostics.

That is that both the first and last words in each line of the poem spell out words that support the meaning of the poem.

Here your hidden message is:

'And the meek shall inherit the earth'

2) Compound acrostic message: These are lines from the St James version of the bible, first to be found in the Psalms and then the Beatitudes in the sermon on the mount:

Psalm 37:11 'But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.'

Matthew 5: 5 'Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.'

As a Christian, these words have a huge impact on me.

Jesus, I believe meant 'meek' in the positive sense of the word: 'showing mildness or quietness of nature'.

Some sceptics over time gave it a negative meaning. Friedrich Nietzsche considered the verse to be embodying what he perceived as a slave morality - a partially negative meaning of: cowed: showing submissiveness and lack of initiative or will.

As a Christian, I take it in the positive sense I believe Jesus meant in the Sermon on the Mount - mild and quiet in nature towards fellow man and if there is a positive to be drawn from the other meaning, it is being submissive to God's will - listening in quiet contemplation to Him and enacting his words in our lives.

Human message? The gentle may often win: Gandhi and Mandela:
Spiritual message? Listening to God empowers the listener.

3) Other aspects of structure: Although there is no fixed pattern, the external rhymes in the poem lend it melody and the rhythm a steady beat.

You fully punctuate. I like this form of consistency - either fully punctuate or don't at all. You choose the former.

4) Meaning of the verse itself, favourite lines and personal impact on me as one reader: Your poem is a progression in seeking God's will which ends with the notion of meekness, on each occasion ending with a thought in brackets. I shall just take two of my favourite lines:

First:

Nestled away from what I would shun.
Directly came then a Word from on High:
Thy will is weak. My Will be done.
(Holy went seeking but found no higher.)

The last two lines deliver your opening message in engaging rhyme.

Second:

Soon my doubts would interfere.
Helpless, I prayed for an aha
And suddenly, the answer became clear:
Live humbly the loving life I ought.
(Love went seeking but found no high.)

Your ending: In listening to God's word (in submission to his will, therefore 'meek') He asks you (us all) to be meek towards fellowman - 'Live humbly the loving life I ought' (therefore also 'meek').

5) Overview: Frankly I am amazed at what you have managed to pull off here. You deliver a seamless message with a supportive compound acrostic. You must have applied much effort and thought to the creation of this verse. But as one Christian to another, keep your writing going and message coming.

Highly accomplished!

Your friend


James Hanna-Magill

[Renée Dupree]

Friend, your review was better than the poem! :) Thank you so much for your thoughtful analysis. I need to re-read it a few times to let it fully sink in. Again, thank you for reading and taking the time to lend such a thoughtful review. It means a lot to me.

[James Hanna-Magill]

My pleasure, James

[Renée Dupree]

James, what I really want to say is this: I'm impressed that you got out of it what I put into it.

As you know, sometimes when we write, we know what we are thinking, but we also have to leave *some* room to the audience's imagination. I'm impressed that you were able to capture, identify, and articulate the *spirit* in which I wrote this piece. You, my friend, are brilliant. Thanks again.

[James Hanna-Magill]

You are very kind. Thank you, James

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...:)

[Renée Dupree]

Thanks very much, Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Onku Ghosh]

Frankly I don't understand what compound- acrostic means. All I can say is this poem made a good read.

[Renée Dupree]

lol, well, thank you. :) Compound acrostic means the first letter of each line and the last letter of each line spell a name or phrase. In this case, the phrase is "and the meek shall inherit the earth." Read it again now. :) Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

[chicagogirlonce]

A VERY DIFFICULT FORM TO WRITE IN---NICE JOB

[Renée Dupree]

Thank you SO much!