to all you stop-clock-watchers.

a general message of bucking time and its restraints, as it will win in the end anyhow.

 

 

.tick-

 

a woman on the street stopped
a man with a watch
and she asked for the time

 

he said, "darlin', ain't none of us got it
now you put one foot in front of the other
and don'tcha worry 'bout the day
'cuz nighttime's comin' soon."

 

"which wire?!? which wire do i cut?!?" cried the
agent to his partner. she turned to look at the camera
unblinking and matter-of-fact in her factual 'ply,"my
dear watson, there's no wire you can cut to
stop this time bomb ticking. we're gonna blow this joint
whether we want to or not."

 

you debutantes ne'er worry if you're late
because the world, it waits for you

you grandpa clocks with your second hand faces
take your feet off the brakes

you mama's boys with your big ticket toys
just sleep on in today

pacific standard, central standard, mountain time
that greenwich mean time is a mean machine
a three-headed beast of a Langolier

oh woman on the street
man with the watch
you agent watson and your partner
debutantes rosemarys boy-toy-mamas
and you stop-watch-clocking planner-book-writin'
no-time-for-down-time rat-runnin' freaks:

 

let's all sing, "time is on our side."
'cuz we're gonna blow this joint
whether we want to or not.

 

-tock.
 

Reviews

[Wellum Hulder]

Hey nice work. I'm more of a story guy than a poetry guy, but I will give it a shot. I like the idea of this poem and the thoughts in it. I think the tone of the first stanza doesn't match the jive talkin' in the rest of the poem and that is why there is this kinda "jump" into the time bomb stanza. I also anticipated a cross section of several "Scenes" in which people were too preoccupied with time, but that doesn't matter too much.

(PS. thanks for stopping by and reading The Notebook." I intend to go back over it soon.)

W.H.

[W.k.kortas]

This does careen here and there a bit--the third stanza, in my view, could use some pruning--but it's nicely imaginative and observational, adding a good deal of texture to a pretty straightforward idea. The alternating speeds in the pacing of the stanzas is a nice touch. Very nice piece of writing.

[Ari]

This starts out really well, but I feel like you lose control of it by the 5th or 6th stanza. I was really expecting something great from the end of this, and I don't feel like I got it.

[Lola]

The third stanza had a bit too much punctuation (the whole "?!?!?!" thing), but other than that: fascinating piece. The rather conversational tone of the poem fits, and the whole concept of it all-- magnificent. This is really very well done.