Sight

why must life be an invocation?

tenacity:

I know it is my weakness.

but under these bright lights,

nothing feels real.

I find myself becoming languid.

listlessly, I mark off the calendar,

doodling where the numbers should be.

 

and perhaps I’m irascible,

audacious,

and blinded by my own youth.

 

but at least I care to know

what lurks behind the nebulous appearance of the world

 

facades of unblemished skin

and scarless old civilities

 

I have a feeling

that I’m sinking into something

that will fill my ears with sand

and shine the sun directly in my eyes.

 

call me irrational, if you please.

 

I did not mean to offend

prayer, and her close friend,

complacency.

 

what I was trying to say

in a manner not quite concise

is that these chains are not yet broken

yet I am lost in a void of ambivalence

 

once I thought the world was iridescent,

and then I watched my heart stop beating.

-4/09-