Time Passing By

As i hold you in my binding arms,

Unwilling to let you go,

As you bury your head, deep in my chest,

Giving you comfort and trust,

 

Knowing that you are safe with me as if your invisible.

As you glance up to share a quick smile,

When I hear those silent tears glide down you cheecks.

 

Your having flashbacks of when we first met,

 

The experiences and memories which make you laugh,

 

The moment of when our lips first touched,

 

As we stand there, in the pouring rain,

 

We stare deep into each others eyes,

 

Not knowing what will happen next,

 

But just letting time pass us by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[akpolarmom]

TK,
Nice poem! The love is oozing out, good job. She must be special to you.

One little "issue"....
You say: "As you bare you head deep in my chest,"
the word "bare" does not fit... "Bare" means taking something off such as "baring one's head, when entering a church". Do you mean "bury"? That would work.
I hate it when I have a word in my writing and I know there is something wrong with it, but just can't find the right word.
Thanks for sharing this with us.

Onward, to Search for More Tools of the Craft!

Akpolarmom

[Summers Under The Old O..]

You must really love whoever you write about. This is a wonderful poem, full of emotion. Emily is right, of course, about the grammar. But besides that, it's amazing!

[shinybluestars03]

Great poem,
Enjoyed it all
Thanks for sharing.

Best wishes

[Emily Rose]

It's a nice poem, although there are some grammatical errors: "as if your invisible" should be "as if you're" invisible, and the same with "your having flashbacks." Your imagery is nice, but it could stand to be a little stronger. Otherwise, good job!

[Kyle]

i think this is a really well organized poem, it seems to put a relationship into perspective, dosent it?? i can fell the emotion you put into your writing. great job! keep it up!

[A.K.Bruhn]

damn i think ima cry .....not... o but seriously that is a really goood poem i love it dude