Dear Rachel

This is a tribute to a friend who committed suicide in college. She also had BPD, as I do.

I know you held a secret, barbed like a baby in your womb
that couldn’t and wouldn’t be born but wound itself like ivy around the core of you.
I saw my own anguish sparkling mad in your eyes:
mirrors that binged on beauty and bullshit but shattered
before time could blur the pain or dust mar the surface.
I heard that razor’s edge beneath your laughing voice,
cringed when your hands quaked like overburdened boughs.
I knew you didn’t get it but neither did I even though I had it, too.
I could have should have told you dawn and dusk would grace your life someday.
We would have learned to relish all the sordid details between yes and no.
I thought you were like a matchstick when we met, body slender and fragile that somehow endured, hair every shade of fire.
I knew the claim was strike anywhere but I never imagined you a target.
I forgot you were a match.
I should have would have begged you not to go,
but I never thought you’d leave like this.

Reviews

[Calypso]

So sad but good. I'm sorry she died.

[Impulse]

Very intense and filled with expertly portrayed emotion. I've been on the verge of suicide many times but I always find something that pulls me back. I was lucky. Your friend was not. 'Tis a tragedy indeed. I can't even imagine what you went through when you heard about this. BDP is a serious problem in today's world; half the people who have it aren't even aware of it. I hope you're taking the appropriate steps to keep it in check. Nice piece of work you have here. I wish you the best of luck.