Fallen

Fallen

I step out into this sea of white mush,
snow flurries drizzling down my face,
catching unwanted specks in my eyes,
there are no perks to being completely submerged,
nor apathetic like an afterthought or bite,
that greying aphrodisiac,
snow plows tear through the heart of me,
I whimper.
It is simply too cold,
and my hands never find rest,
not even in this winter coat,
thick wool can’t conceal the aching underneath,
there are wounds on my palms from climbing up the brick wall
scraping up against the sharp edges of my shadow,
I no longer want to be what I once was,
like the flurries melting under my feet, seeping into crack pavement walk ways
turning their gaze to the beautiful sun till it breaks them down
to sweat droplets on the ground,
I don’t see my halo anymore,
nor do I want to,
no, something’s are meant to be left to their changing,
then the car stirs and spins,
awakening the white clouds beneath.
I’m dizzy and I’m cold, spinning in circles, round and round
watching the blizzard swirl against my satin hair,
patches of thickness unearth in the sky,
patches of burly snow angels cast by my shadow,
her ever present wings never fly, only wilt.
If I am my body, then I am this storm
covering the green with my insanity,
someone inside of me is screaming,
let her out or let her sound never calm me anymore.
It’s too cold.
I’m entranced by this yucky snow, greying embryo of my youth,
like a child I dreamt of swimming in it
before I knew it had the capability to mount your body like a leopard
and claw at you,
just a sick, sick game.
I find my torture in the walking outside,
so I hide in the well-lit corner, watching the enemy crawl out the sky,
fallen angels don’t belong here on earth,
but that doesn’t stop them from walking amongst us, landing on our toes.