"The Agony of Sin"

SEEK JESUS. THE WAY. THE TRUTH. THE LIFE. ONLY HE CAN SAVE US FROM OUR DEEP ROOTED DARKNESS; FOR HE IS THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD!

Beauty in the eyes.

So close that you could taste it.

Smoke swirled lies.

A desire that, the wicked heart cannot place it.

Burning inside.

Why can't I even keep my very fibers under control?

No place to hide.

This is rooted as deep as the soul.

Choking out life here.

Is there no way of escaping?

Can't even look in the mirror.

It's like for the shadows my mind is for the taking.

Reviews

[Meaghan Rhymer]

Nice work here. I would try breaking up some of your lengthier line. I think the rhyme pattern would still work, even if it is obscure in some place